8 Years Ago…

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...You asked me to be yours.  You asked me to promise to stay by your side through our ups and downs.  And that, I did.  Throughout the years we’ve been to the doors of hell and back and here we are, still standing strong.  Although you are stubborn, we are different in many ways, and you drive me crazy, the love we share continues to grow every day. 

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I’m gonna love you forever and ever…

“Hand in hand you and I, that’s where we’re meant to be

And I’ll hold your hand always for all the world to see

You’re my special someone that many just dream about

But I am experiencing it hand in hand

And that is without a doubt

You’re like the wind that is blowing on a cool, breezy summer’s day

And you make my heart skip a beat with every word you say

So when you read these words, I really want you to know

We’re hand in hand forever and I’ll never let you go”

I know, I know…it’s cheesy but I’ve had this for years.  I can’t remember where I got it though. 

Anyhoo, even though we’re not married, making and growing our relationship is hard work!  So happy 8 years of putting up with me togetherness and many more to come!

Love, love

Jenn.

Surprise, Surprise!

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Happy Love Day, Lovelies!  I hope your day was filled with love, hugs, and kisses! 

I got a big surprise from the Mister today: flowers and chocolates and a balloon. 

Yeah, it may not be big for some but it is for me.  This is big because we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day which brings me to confess that I didn’t tell you the whole truth.  I know, I suck. 

Anyway, remember this post where I mentioned that we don’t celebrate V-Day?  Well, the Mister is actually the one who doesn’t celebrate V-Day.  He says every day should be a love day and I agree but what girl doesn’t love to get flowers?  Or chocolate?  Or a sappy card?  So over the years I’ve accepted that V-Day is just another day.  And when the Mister came home today with all the goodies, I jumped for joy. 

I told him that I am still in shock and he’s all “why?”  I go on to tell him “well, after eight years of not getting anything, I wasn’t expecting this!”  And he’s all “what do you mean?  I get you something every year for Valentine’s Day.” 

silence…

I was speechless.  And when I finally told him that that wasn’t the case and reminded him about ‘everyday should be a love day’, the look on his face was priceless.  Did he really think that he got me something every year or is he just pulling my leg?  Whatever it is, I’m just stoked to have gotten something.  So thanks, babe and Happy Valentine’s Day to you too.

Love, love!

Jenn.

Confessions of a fisherman’s other half.

It’s that time again…

The Mister’s boat has been out of commission for the past few months and although I was enjoying it, I knew it would come to an end sooner than later.  And so, the time has come for overnight fishing trips to commence.  I knew it was coming; I just didn’t mentally prepare myself for it. 

I can handle day trips but when it comes to overnight trips, well that’s a different story.  I worry.  I have sleepless nights.  Sometimes I feel like calling him every hour just to see if he’s okay but I know that would annoy him.  It’s dark and while the rest of the world is sleeping, they are out there alone.  I say they because he knows I’d chop his balls off if he went alone.  I get paranoid at the fact that if anything was to go wrong, he is not in my reach.  I know I shouldn’t think that way but sometimes it gets the best of me. 

I know that the Mister knows what he’s doing.  I know he takes all the necessary precautions.  Mother Nature is who scares me.  Sometimes I wish I had a monitor so I could see him when he’s out on the ocean.  That would put me at ease, sort of. 

And other times, I wish he would get a different hobby.  Everyone wins in the end; he gives fish away to friends and family and sometimes he gets paid for it, which comes in handy.  If I could just figure out how to block these feelings, all will be well and I’d get some sleep. 

But never mind my feelings; it is what he loves to do and I need to support him.  I’ll just continue to pray for his safety.

Jenn.

L.O.V.E.

Well, hello!  I know it’s been quiet around these parts lately.  I’ve been busy: work and the Radicals and we all had a nasty cold.  I’m doing the “What’s Your Love Story” link-up with Becky over at From Mrs. to Mama today.

How long have you and your significant other been together?  The Mister and I have been together for 8 years come March 23^rd.
How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?}  Haha!  I wouldn’t call it a love story.  We met in the parking lot of a bar.  It was last call and I was so ready to go home.  I was tired, I was tipsy, and I was ready to call it a night, err, morning.  I decided to go to the car and wait for my peeps.  Before y’all jump on my ass, we did have a DD.  Anyway, the Mister just happened to be parked right across from me and he just happened to be waiting for his peeps too.  Since I didn’t feel like sitting on concrete I had this bright idea to ask him if I could wait in his car.  Hey, a nice warm car was better than freezing my bum out in the cold!  We got to talking and I have to say that his attempt to “flirt” was a fail.  Maybe I wasn’t in the mood or maybe the fact that he was from the other side of the island turned me off.  He asked if I had a boyfriend and I don’t know what possessed me to say this but I responded with “Yeah I have 5, do you wanna be the 6^th?”  I tend to be a smart-ass when I’m cranky but he didn’t give up.  My peeps finally made it to the car and when he tried to give me his number they were all “no, she doesn’t need your number!”   We drove off and that was that.  We ran into each other {at the same bar} again  a couple of months later and this time he made it a point to exchange numbers, but I never called him.  I didn’t even remember his name.  A couple of months later I get a call from him, we hang out; go on a couple of dates.  Eight years and 2 Radicals later, here we are.
If married, how long have you been married? If not, is this the guy you hope to marry? {do tell}  I would like to but that subject is not talked about.  You can go here to read why.
 If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding?  If not, where would you like to get married? And will it be big or small?  If a miracle happens and we do get married, it’ll be a small wedding with close family and friends.
Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!  We call each other “babe” or “hun/honey”.  The only time we use first names is if we’re mad.
 Name 3 things you love most about your honey.   1) His heart.  I’ve watched him grow and change greatly over the years.  1) His personality.  I know this is going to sound weird but he has a “unique” one that constantly challenges me in a good way. 3) The words that come out of his mouth.  Yep, it’s another weird one.  Most times, the things he talks about either kills me or makes me bust-a-gut-laugh.  Tell us how he proposed? Or your ideal proposal?  Nothing yet.  And knowing him, if that day ever comes, he would be the one to say something like “so what?  you like get married?”  Typical.
Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?  Niether.  We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.  I know, we’re so dry!  Our view is that everyday should be a love day.  But now that we have Radicals, we bake some goodies.
Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?  Um, a sunset dinner on the beach.  We never get out so if the opportunity presents itself, I’ll take it.
Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?  I’d like to take him to travel the world and experience different cultures.  We need to get off of this rock J  If you ask him this question, it would have something to do with the ocean, on a boat, for weeks.  Ugh, I’m not too thrilled with that.
Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day.  Nothing.  Oh wait, the Radicals and I are baking something. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's Day?  Even though we don’t celebrate I’m using this day as an excuse to get a label maker.
Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.  Patience, communication, and kindness.  We clash all the time; that’s just our personalities but it doesn’t mean we don’t love each other.  He views the world in black and white.  I view the world in color.  What we do agree on is we are who we are and we’re not trying to change each other.  Oh, one last piece of advice: sex, lots of it.  Haha!
Show us a picture of what love means to you.

Love, love!

Jenn.

It's the little things...

Happy Friday, Lovelies!  I was going to link up with Lindsay today to share the little things that made me smile this week but I’m having technical linking issues.  So I’ll post it anyway until I figure it out.

The ocean is The Mister’s playground.  He’s always fishing or diving.  I’m pretty sure if he had it his way, he’d live in the ocean.  He went lobster diving last night and it made me smile when I heard the excitement in his voice about his biggest catch to date.  Did I mention that it was 2am and he just had to wake me up to tell me?

I can’t get over the size of this one!  Why go to Red Lobster when y’all can come to my house?!  BYOB though…haha!

This little piece of paper will get me a 24 pack of toilet paper for $1.99!  Or maybe it’s 12; either way $1.99 is a deal!

We got this tree about a year ago and lookie what decided to make an appearance.  I didn’t expect to get anything since it was a baby tree but I was absolutely amazed at how full the flower was.

What made you smile this week? 

Hooray for Fridays!

jenn

Am I doomed?

To be the only person on this Earth who will not get married?  It was never an issue before and if I remember correctly, I would always say that I’d never get married.  When people would ask me why, I’d be a smart-ass and say “because I like having one foot out the door”.  Well Jenn, now you can take that foot and eat it!  Great, I put myself in this position huh? 

Its funny how in 5 months, my thinking changed.  In my very first post I said I was fine with the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing but in all honesty, I don’t feel that way anymore.  Now that I’ve/we’ve grown I have a change of heart and it’s something that’s constantly on my mind. 

All sorts of unpleasant things run through my mind when he says we don’t need to get married.  Questions like “am I not the person for him?” or “does he have plans on leaving me for a younger, beautiful female?” or “what am I doing wrong?” 

He tells me I’m crazy, to stop thinking that way, and that people get married only to get divorced.  What?  That doesn’t even make sense. He goes on and on about all these couples (friends of ours) who get married then divorced.  He has a whole list of couples and when I think of another couple he’s all “they’re having problems and are about to get divorced.”  Always an answer for everything huh?

He says marriage only ruins things and why fix something (our relationship) when it’s not broken?  That doesn’t make sense either.  He thinks that I’ll leave him once we get married.  Wait a minute, I’m the one who wants to get married and when it finally happens, I’m going to leave you?  Okay, that totally does not make sense. 

He says people in the relationship change when they’re married.  Like how?  An alien will take over my body once we tie the knot?  We’re coming up on being together for 8 years.  8 years.  I think after 8 years I’d have a hard time changing.  We’ve been to the doors of hell and back.  What could possibly come our way that we couldn’t overcome?  I’ve given my all, my whole heart, I’ve put up with crap that most people would walk away from, I know that a relationship is a two-way street.  I feel like I’ve proved myself to handle whatever bumps we encounter.  I don’t know.  Maybe we need to actually go into hell. 

Another thing he says is “we’re common law already and marriage is just a piece of paper.”  I don’t do common law.  I don’t like it when people call him my husband because it’s “common law”.  I don’t like it when my parents introduce him as their “son in-law”.  Don’t call him something he’s not.  It’s just another one of my weird things. 

Oh, I give up.  I’m done talking about this subject.  I don’t want to force him into it; what fun would that be?  It is what it is and I’ll have to accept it. 

The End.

jenn

PS.  Even though I’m done talking about this, feedback from you married folk would be nice.  You know, just to broaden my horizon.  I feel that I may be looking at this the wrong way.  Thank you.

It's Complicated - Part 2

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Happy Friday Friends!

I have to say that I’ve been a bit apprehensive about sharing this.  I’ve been afraid that somehow the Mister’s mom would come across my little ‘ol blog and read this and then hate me forever.  But you know what?  These are my feelings and everyone is allowed to have feelings right?  Right. 

I feel obligated to stay…

Like I said in my last post – I thought this was temporary.  But I apparently our definitions of “temporary” are different.  

Radical #1 was born in April of 2008.  I continued to work and I felt so lucky to have the best babysitter in the world, Miss Connie Lou over at Island Buzzy.  She is awesome and I trusted her.  She put my day-care paranoia at ease because let’s face it, who doesn’t have anxiety and fear of having someone you don’t really know watch your kid(s)?  I have major paranoia. 

Then I got pregnant with Radical #2 in 2009 and I also lost my job (crap!).  Raging hormonal pregnant lady…that was me.  I never prepared for the worst and the worst was happening.  Losing my job meant losing my income and benefits so yes, I had a meltdown.  

I finally came to my sense (having a meltdown wasn't helping anyone) and went through my options.  I could easily find another job and all will be well in the world.  But I was informed that my beloved babysitter was no longer available.  Cue another meltdown.  Because remember, I had major daycare paranoia.  

Then I had the bright idea of moving back to Kona.  I had more resources there and I had babysitters there.  It was in fact the perfect plan; I had jobs, babysitters, and we would be closer to family and friends.  Why didn’t I think of this sooner?  

Oh, because I forgot about this house!  “What’s my mom going to do about this house?” was the Mister’s question.  Honestly, I felt like that wasn’t our concern anymore.  What we should be concerned about was how we were going to support our family.  Up until I lost my job, I was the one with the steady income.  Don’t get me wrong, the Mister is a hard worker but he’s in the construction industry and work wasn’t really stable.  I was certain that he could find work in Kona but the obligation we had to his mom and this house was on the forefront.  

Yes, I felt crappy for putting a halt on what she was doing but I also felt that I had to think of my family first and the situation we were in.  There was another option: the Radicals and I could move to Kona while the Mister stayed back to take care of the house.  But I really didn’t want to separate my family on his mom’s behalf.  Why should my family have to suffer because she’s not ready to come home?  But the reasons for moving didn’t matter and all they could think about was this house.  

So I sucked it up and looked for jobs and daycare here.  I found some jobs but the reality was that I would be working just to pay for daycare.  What’s the sense in that?  And so I began my journey as a stay-at-home mom.  It made me very nervous that the Mister was taking over the financial part of our lives.  

I was no longer in control.  The first year was financially difficult.  Scraping coins, deciding which bill was going to be paid and which ones had to wait, and just stressing out on how we were supposed to live.  It was hard to budget with a sporadic income.  It was tough and it tested my patience like never before.  I became depressed and bitter towards the Mister.  We were constantly arguing and I just couldn’t help it when awful things would come flowing out of my mouth.  Things like “you and your mom put us in this position!” or “if you and your mom weren’t so selfish we wouldn’t be having this conversation so it ain’t my problem!”  

I started to realize that instead of being a snappy witch, I should have been more positive and encouraging towards the Mister.  My crappy attitude wasn’t helping him or our situation.  I have to say that this situation and the years to follow have brought us together; it’s made us stronger as a couple.  We’ve lived it, we’ve learned from it, and now we’re moving forward…as a family.  We’ve grown, we’ve changed, and we have a better outlook on life. 

So maybe I shouldn’t say I feel obligated to stay but more so, I feel it’s best for our family to stick together.  In time, things will start to look up.  After all, this is life and nobody said life was easy.    

jenn