The One Time I Thought the Hubs was Going to Kill Me

Yes, you read that right.  

When The Hubs and I were first dating, he wanted to show me around his hometown for the weekend.  I booked a hotel in Hilo but his “stomping grounds” was actually in Puna.  Me, not being from the east side of the island, I had no idea what was where. 

I lost all sense of direction. 

We went from the “city” of Hilo out to the boondocks of Puna.  He wanted to take me down to "Pohoiki."  Could’ve been a restaurant for all I knew but he said something about meeting up with his friends and I was guessing that Pohoiki was their go-to spot to hang out.  

So we left the hotel and I swear, it felt like we were driving FOREVER.  And as the scenery changed from “city” to “country” I was all “oh, this is nice.”  

Before going to this Pohoiki place, he wanted to stop at his mom's house so I could meet her.  Do you know how nervous I was? I had a hangover from the night before.  And he had a stupid hickey love bite on his neck.  So NOT the way to make a good first impression.  I mean, he could've given me a heads up before we got shit-faced wasted.

We stopped to pick up pizza so I kind of used that as my peace offering…Hi, it’s so nice to meet you.  I come in peace…I brought pizza.  Okay, so I was thinking it.  I didn’t actually say it.  Could you imagine if I blurted that out?  Awkward.  But it turned out to be a pleasant meeting.  Whew.  She asked what we were going to do that day and the Hubs told her that he wanted to take me down to Pohoiki.  We said our good-byes and off we went to the mysterious Pohoiki place.  

We’re driving, and again it felt like forever.  Can I just say that where she lives feels like another state in itself?  The darn place is huge, and all the roads connect.  Fascinating.    

Anyway, we finally turn down the road that led to the mysterious place. 

I didn’t think anything of it while we were passing houses.  We were still surrounded by civilization.

We keep driving and all of a sudden we’re surrounded by a "forest."  Nothing but these tall trees and bushes.  

At first I was in awe by the trees.  They were so cool looking but as we kept driving, we got deeper and deeper into this forest.  Is it possible for something to be beautiful and eerie at the same time?  

I look to the right; miles and miles of trees and bushes.  I look to the left; same thing.  I look forward; same effing thing.  

It starts to get darker because these trees are getting thicker and hovering over the road.  The only road.  I’m no longer in civilization.  

Crap.  

I start to feel nervous and uneasy because if you recall, the Hubs and I JUST (I have to emphasize the 'just' part) started dating.  We didn’t really know each other, and I didn’t do an extensive background check on him.  For all I knew, he could’ve been a serial killer.  He could kill me and dump my body anywhere in this ginormic forest and nobody would ever find me.  

And this place was so foreign to me.  I had no sense of direction.  I wouldn’t know where or how to get back to civilization.  I didn’t know a soul.  None of my family or friends knew I was on the east side for the weekend.  The only person who knew where he was taking me was his mom but I just met the woman!  I couldn’t rely on her.  

Oh man, what the hell did I get myself into?  

And that’s when I turned to him and asked “um, is this where you kill me?”  

He had this dumbfounded look on his face and was all “huh?!?”  I went on to tell him about my uneasy feelings because I barely knew him and we were in a forest and how he could easily kill me and nobody would ever know.  He just laughed and I nervously laughed and then….

via Homey Hawaii

...we were at the end of the road.  

I was so happy to see the beach filled with civilization.  

I still laugh about to this day and I still think about it when we go down there.  He must’ve thought I was psychotic.  

That is all.