Thursday, December 6, 2012

When you live next to crazies...

You, yourself become a crazie!

Forgive my crappy white-out skills.

You see this?  This is what’s been consuming me this week and I can’t even begin to describe my emotions.  This eyesore is all the court documents from the neighbors’ shenanigans.  I’ve been sifting through them so I can attach it to my response to their latest drama.

I haven’t done an update on them because every time I sit down to write, I become very bitter.  And there it will stay until I'm ready.  I just wanted to let y'all know why I've been MIA this week and this was just too ridiculous not to share.

We had a court hearing last Monday to present evidence as to why the judge should grant the restraining order.  After two hours of waiting, maybe 45 minutes of talking, the judge granted the restraining order for three years. 

Done deal. 

Or so we thought.

Thursday, three days after the order was granted, the neighbors’ filed for a motion to dismiss the restraining order because they are claiming I lied under oath.  I will spare you all the looney details of said motion but I will give you a rundown of what’s in the motion:

` I lied under oath because I supposedly stated he yelled at me and the Radicals on Saturday, 11/24.

` He writes in his statement on another page “continued from Sun, 11/25, as she stated…”
So which is it?  The 24th or the 25th?  I said Sun, 11/25.

` He writes a novel on how they went to the grocery and then on a picnic with their puppy on the 24th

` He attaches a copy of the grocery receipt for the 24th.
Again, I said Sun the 25th!

` He states that because I lied to all authorities and everyone’s-mama’s-nephew’s-cousin’s-teacher (okay, so maybe not that last part) he feels that his rights were abused and violated.

` He is requesting the continuation of the CPS investigation and that I receive psych evaluations from time to time as needed or required (whichever comes first).  Then he states my name and an address that doesn’t exist.
Oh I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that you’re my therapist.  And yes, I will soon need a psych evaluation because you are driving me crazy!

` I’m “served” this looney motion from a tweaker who tells me that he’s not a real legal document server and that the neighbor approached him at the beach and paid him $50 to deliver the looney motion.
Okay, please exit my property now or else…

Is this really happening?  I’ve been to the courthouse three times this week and I’m pretty sure I’ll have to go tomorrow for whatever reason then again on Monday for a hearing.  The Radicals have seen the inside of a courthouse more than they should and I think that’s what works me up.  The fact that I have to drag (not literally) the Radicals through this is just ridiculous.  I’m pretty sure any parent would be just as agitated as I am.

I keep asking myself when will this be over but deep down I know this will never end until we finally move.  Until then, it’ll always be something.  My patience is the size of a grain of rice so I can’t guarantee anything.  I’m a human with feelings and let’s just add the pregnant hormones to the mix. 

Oy.  Guard your loins.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Hands of a working woman & a new toy

I met and shook hands with a guy years ago and he told me “wow, your hands are like a guy’s hands…really rough!”  I wasn’t sure how to take that so I responded with “yeah, that’s because these are hands of a working woman.”  Seriously?  Normal people usually say “pleasure to meet you.” 

Hi, I’m Jenn and I’m a man-handler.  Ha!  Ever since I was informed on how rough my hands are, I’ve come to the realization that it's because I am not very lady-like or dainty when I use my hands.  

I don’t do manicures; I’ll just mess them up before I even get out the salon door.  

I’m paranoid when it comes to handling fragile things like wine glasses.  I’ll collect them because they’re pretty but I won’t use them because they’re so fragile.  I feel like I’ll crush it for gripping it too hard.  

You need me to pick up and move rocks?  Plywood?  Done.  

I remove staples and sticky stuff with my nails.  

For goodness sake, I’ll mix wet and dry dog food with my bare hands because I forgot a spoon and I’m too lazy to get one.  Why take the extra time to get a spoon when my hands can do it?  

I’ll be the one to stick my hand in the nasty toilet to clean it or fish out a toy.  Oh but don’t worry, I quickly scrub the crap (ha!  No pun intended) out of them when I’m done.  

And lotion?  Don’t even get me started on lotion.  I can’t, for the life of me, have lotion on my hands.  The rest of my body I can handle but I’ll be sure to wash my hands after applying it.  I always think of the song by Brad Paisley, I’m Still a Guy, when he says “with deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands you can’t grip a tackle box.”  True dat!  I can’t grip anything with creamy lotiony hands!     

The reason why I’m telling you this is because I bought this during Black Friday.

Nikon COOLPIX L310 14.1MP Digital Camera with 21x Optical Zoom - Black

I posted about missing it last year but this year I was on time.  Yeah!  I didn’t want to tell the Mister I bought it because my reasoning, to him, was ridiculous.  I didn’t buy it because of the features.  I didn’t buy it because it was a good deal.  Okay, so maybe that was one of the reasons but the important reasons were:

1)      I can man-handle it because it is big and bulky.  I no longer have to worry about breaking the small little one.
2)      I can hang it around my neck!  And that means I’ll have it with me all the time.  I no longer have the excuse of not taking pictures because I’m tired of looking through my bag.

Well, there you have it.  Now you know I’m a man-handler.  

Excuse me, I’m off to irritate the neighbor take the Radicals outside to play.  They have massive amounts of energy to burn off since we’ve been stuck in the house for days because of the rain. 


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Bump update :: 32 weeks

Snack art: "Mom" by Radical #1

Happy Tuesday Lovelies!  I was supposed to post this yesterday but I spent 2 hours in court and that left me exhausted and irate.  Anyhoo, it’s been what…13 weeks since I did a bump update?  Well, obviously my mission of documenting did not go as planned.  And they ain’t lying when they say every pregnancy is different.  In the beginning I was all cocky and told myself “This is my 3rd pregnancy so I got this!  Yeah Jenn, you got nothing!  Man oh man do I feel helpless, frumpy, and dysfunctional. 

How far along: 32 weeks…AHHH!  8 more weeks!

Size of baby: A large jicama?

Total weight gain: 7 pounds and I’m kind of annoyed.  I just don’t understand how I only gained 7 pounds when I feel like I weigh a million.  I eat, honestly I do, so where the heck is it all going?  I’m really starting to believe that my crappy weight gain is the result of chasing after 2 banshees.  

Maternity clothes: Bottoms only and they are tight and uncomfortable.  I feel silly buying more maternity clothes when I have 8 weeks left.

Gender: Sweet baby boy.

Movement:  Lots.  Not sure but it feels like a mixture of him swimming laps, wrecking shop, hanging up some pictures, and tap dancing on my privates.

Sleep: Sucks.  I think I need a body pillow.  And it doesn’t help that I have to sleep at the foot (half on/half off) of my OWN bed because 2 little people think they own the joint.

What I miss: Moving and being able to bend over to pick things up.  Do you know it takes me days (sometimes weeks) to clean up the “play room” because the thought of having to bend over makes me exhausted?

Cravings: Peanut butter blossoms, iced pumpkin spice lattes, and kimchee saimin.  The saimin was on sale for $1 each and I was tempted to wipe out the entire inventory until I got “the look” from the Mister.

Symptoms: Swollen, out of breath, sore, back pain and I think the Radicals are taking advantage.  I feel like they tell each other “mom isn’t as fast as she used to be so what can we do to harass her?”  Let’s talk about swollen…not fun.  Cankles, elephant legs, and I can’t make a fist with my hands.  Can I take the swollenness from those body parts and shove them in my tatas?  Why am I the only pregnant person whose tatas doesn’t grow?

What I’m looking forward to: Birth day!  I know I said I have 8 weeks left but I think I’m going to schedule for earlier.  My due date falls on a weekday but I need to schedule for a weekend so the parentals can look after the Radicals.  I’m paranoid though because I keep getting this feeling that he’s on his own schedule and he’ll make a surprise entrance.

Tales of the whacko pregnant lady: I’ve always heard stories about crazy pregnant ladies and their food.  I consider myself a “sharer” when it comes to food and I’d always give the last of something even though I really want it.  Last week, the Mister ate the last of my Jamoca Almond Fudge ice cream and I blew a gasket.  I was so angry with him and nothing he offered could make up for him eating my ice cream; not even my beloved peanut butter blossoms.  Good Lord Jenn, it’s just ice cream…get over it.  Get over it I did, but it took me a day.  Sheesh!  True story.

Peace out!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Turkey pumpkins and what I'm thankful for

Happy Thanksgiving week!  Do you ever say things like “Thanksgiving is next week!” and in the following sentences you say stuff like “and such and such will be up on the blog?” But it doesn’t really sink in that it’s really Thanksgiving week until two days before Thanksgiving.  I’m one of those people who say stuff like that not really thinking about it and then panics because I now realize how much shit needs to be done and blogging is put on the back burner once again.

Sorry for the crappy pictures but here’s the Radicals turkey pumpkins we made a couple (or maybe one) of weeks ago.  We got these pumpkins the weekend before Halloween and I didn’t want to just throw it out because they were still good.  I thought it was a fun project but the Radicals gave up two minutes into cutting out the pieces.  In the end I was the one who cut them out and they got to color and stick the pieces onto the pumpkin.  Here’s the link if you want to try it out next year.

We have a busy week so I probably won’t be back until next week.  Me and my big Betty Crocker mouth thought it was a grand idea to make pumpkin pies and cookies and now?  I’m kicking myself because 1) I’ve never made a pumpkin pie in my life and 2) I have so much stuff (like homework and laundry and cleaning) to complete before we leave on Thursday.  I’m praying for myself and for those who will eat the pies.  It can’t be that hard right?

And since I’ve been seeing the ‘What I’m Thankful For’ lists going around, I thought I’d say what I’m thankful for too.  Not to get off track or anything, but I want to work on being thankful every day, not just during this time of year.  I mean, I’m thankful every day but I don’t get all sappy like I do now.  Anyway, I’m thankful for…

my Radicals.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, they are my world.  If not for them, I wouldn’t be who I am today and I wouldn’t have learned all that they have taught me.  Love, patience, multi-tasking, how to open the eyeballs that has miraculously grown on the back of my head.

the Mister.  Without him, I wouldn’t have Radicals and the fact that I know more about fishing than I’d actually like to know.  LOL! 

the parentals.  Advice, guidance, and always being there for us.  Life lessons and the times I thought I was getting the crappy end of the stick which prompted the dramatic “my parents are soooo unfair!!!

my brothers.  They make my life that much more interesting.

my besties.  We’ve been through a lot of ups and downs and in the end, we still are besties that will grow old together hanging out in our rocking chairs on the front porch drinking our brew and shamelessly hollering and waving our canes at the luscious young eye candy that pass by.

my Momo.  The sister I never had even though we rarely see each other.  I’m looking forward to the for real coffee dates and hang out sessions that will come soon.  Very, very soon.

this is the only picture we have together...

the SIL.  Without her, I wouldn’t have my very first nephew.  And it’s like having another sister I never had.

w/Radical #2.  I don't have a picture of my nephew yet :(

 …the rain.  I’ve never been so grateful for rain until I moved here because it fills up my tank.

Okay, so this post was longer than I expected.  Sorry.  There is so much more I am thankful for but I'll be kind and stop now.  

I hope y’all have a Happy, Happy Thanksgiving.  Eat lots of yummy food.  Enjoy the time with your family and friends.

And we can’t forget my beloved Macy’s Day Parade!!!  I’m on a mission again to make it to Kona before it starts.  I just need to give the Mister a really good excuse as to why we have to leave before the crack of dawn.  I’ll be happy to be the driver while my family peacefully sleeps.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday, November 16, 2012

Coffee Date

Good Friday morning to y’all!  Can you believe its Friday already?  Geez, where did the time go?  How’d this week go by in the blink of an eye?  I guess time flies when you’re having fun!  It’s Friday and we’re doing another round of Coffee Date.  I’m beginning to love this link up because I get to peek into the lives of other great women and see what’s been going on with them.   So, grab your cup of iced Pumpkin Spice Latte or whatever you prefer and let’s chat about life. 

If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you that I got the dreaded call on Tuesday informing me that I failed my 1-hour glucose test.  Oh man, I thought I was in the clear.   I went back yesterday for a 3-hour test and it was torture.  I was hungry and antsy and cold.  It didn’t help that the staff put on the TV to the food channel.  Gee thanks!  I have to sit here starving for 3 hours while I watch Paula Dean and whoever else whip up some yumminess.  It also didn’t help that I had to sit still for 3 hours.  Me and sitting still is not a good match.  But, I followed directions (no, really Jenn?) and read two whole magazines.  It had some pretty interesting stories like the girl who grew up in a storage shed and wasn’t allowed to speak to anyone.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’ve been here but not really here.  I decided to put my foot down and let the Radicals loose this week.  Have at it boys and play your little hearts out because we don’t care if the neighbors get mad.  I.Don’t.Care.Anymore.  I have to be honest and say that there were times that I got a knot in my stomach thinking about the things they could do to us but in the end I still said who gives a rip!  Oh, and I have to say that we did get the bird from them as they drove by.  Yeah, real mature.  Are we in high school?  I didn’t let it bother me because seriously, why give my energy to something as little and immature like that.  And I couldn’t help but laugh when Radical #1 said “mom, the neighbor waved at me!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that the above is the reason why I have half-written posts waiting to be completed.  One that is dedicated to my dad because he got all old and soft-hearted on me.  He complained that I didn’t write anything about him on my Facebook ‘About Me’ section.  Oy.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that the art project for the Radicals went well.  It was fun.  The outcome wasn’t what I had envisioned but I do have to remember that they are 3 and 4.  It’ll be up on the blog next week.  Their turkey pumpkin craft will be up on the blog next week too. Along with my DIY wreath.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’m excited to be participating in Megan’s Ornament Swap again!  And this time, I’ll be on it.  It didn’t go so well last year because of me and my one-track mind (sorry Heather).  But, we live and we learn right?

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I totally got off track with the theme today.  I apologize because I’m speechless when it comes to this.  I don’t have any verses to share because the truth is; my mind turns to mush when I do my readings.  To be honest, I don’t understand and it wigs me out.  But what I will tell you is that I continue to cling on to Him daily and talk about my worries and frustrations and the more I do that, the easier it may be to understand eventually.  I mean, look at this past week.  I felt at peace.  I wasn’t the stressed-out-bitter-raging lady.  The Radicals were happy, the Mister was happy.  I was happy.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask how your week was.  Do you talk to Him on a daily basis?  Are you excited for Thanksgiving that is rapidly approaching?

Linking up here:


Monday, November 12, 2012

Hello Monday!

Hello Lovelies!  How is your three-day weekend going?  Swell, I hope!  My weekend?  Was filled with anxiety.  Yesterday was spent completing my finals and let me tell you…it was brutal.  I’m glad it’s over though.  Today I’m linking up with Lisa Leonard for Hello Monday.  Here are a few things I’m saying “Hello” to this week…

Hello to…a new set of classes!  Yes, I just finished finals yesterday and I’m already starting new classes.  Although I wish I had a day or two to breathe, its better this way so I don’t lose momentum.

Hello to…a pedicure that is really needed.  Y’all, it’s been forever!  I do my own pedicures and the way I’ve been feeling lately has had me exhausted and my belly is sort of in the way.  I don’t really like going to the salon because I’m an impatient person.  I just can’t sit there and be still.  It’s more like torture instead of relaxing.  So, I’m on a mission to get my toes done this week.  Do y'all like this color?

Essie nail polish
 Hello to…shopping (ugh, I hate shopping!) for a Thanksgiving outfit.  I kind of-sort of have a ‘me’ day on Friday so I’m taking advantage of the free time.  And since I hate shopping, I should prepare myself before I go.  Any ideas?

Hello to…letting go.  Letting go of situations that I cannot control.  Why am I getting amped up over something that really shouldn’t bother me?  I know who I am and what my goals are so why do I give into this nonsense?  Let it go Jenn…

Hello to…some real family time.  Like I said, I’ve been so out of it for the past how many weeks.  Or months.  I’m letting go and focusing on what’s important.

Hello to…art projects for the Radicals.  I’m really going to put my best foot forward and get this done.  Haha!  It sounds good  in my head but it might be a different story when we actually do it.  I’ll keep you posted.

Hello to…my DIY Fall wreath.  I know I’m kind of late in the game and Christmas decorations are going up in two weeks but I didn’t purchase all the materials for nothing.  Which is funny because I purchased everything in October.  Ah, procrastination.  I’m saying good-bye to you this week.

What are you saying hello to this week?

Friday, November 9, 2012

Coffee Date Friday

Yay, its Friday!  Happy Friday!  Happy November!  Do you know what happens around these parts when November rolls around?  I get to pull out the big red boxes full of Christmas decorations!!!  I know I’m totally getting ahead of myself but I am counting down the days {stinky side-eye from the Mister…}.  Anyhoots, since today is Friday I’m doing the linky-dance with Alissa for Coffee Date Friday.  Who’s with me?

If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you that we finally have a name for our Radical to-be!  Ah, finally!  It’s been the battle of the names around here until we finally came to an agreement last night.  The Mister wanted to partake in the naming but he shot down every name we talked about.  I was starting to think he was doing that just to piss me off so in an attempt to make him focus, I threw out names like Billy Bob and Charleston Lane and Maximus Corpus (not sure where that one came from).  So after getting a good laugh over the silly names, we finally decided on…Mark Taula’i.  The Mister was shocked that I wasn’t adding another name  to Mark since the other two Radicals have a hyphenated first name.  I like this one.  It’s nice and simple.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I cannot wait until this week is over.  Wait, let me re-phrase that – I cannot wait until finals are over which will be on Sunday.  I’m hanging on by a thread and my final essay that’s due on Sunday is making me crazy. 

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’ve been diligently working on my emotions and patience.  Not only because I hate feeling this way but also because I got a huge slap in the face this week.  The BS and drama going on with the neighbor has had me on edge and constantly walking on egg shells.  I’ve been bitter and angry because we have to live with it for now and adjust our lives just to keep the peace.  We’re prisoners in our own home.  I’m constantly “shhhh”-ing the Radicals. We don’t get out for fear that the neighbors will get mad and start something.  What fun is playing outside when we have to be mute?  Anyway, earlier this week in the middle of my bitterness, Radical #1 told me “here mom, I have a heart for you so it can make you happy and not mad and you won’t yell at us anymore.”  Well shoot, just gouge my eyeballs out and stab me in the heart why don’t you!  Radical #1.  My 4 year old.  That came out of his mouth and it pierced my heart and stopped me dead in my tracks.  Sounds dramatic but hello!  I felt awful.  Yep, Mother of the Year award goes to Jenn.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I got to hold my very first nephew 2 weeks ago.  I know I said I was going to show pictures but I was caught up in the new baby moment and there was no time for pictures.  I’ll do my best to take some pictures when we go back for Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving…which happens to be in two weeks.  TWO WEEKS people!  Didn’t we just start November?  What the???  I wish time would slow down even if it’s just a teeny-tiny bit.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that we went to feed the ducks on Wednesday and holy moly!  It was like the whole duck population of Hilo, Hawaii was there.  They were everywhere.  I haven’t seen so many ducks in one place in my entire life.  The Radicals had fun though and of course the Mister had to get all native and make fishing poles out of sticks so the Radicals could catch torture some fish.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask your opinion on Christmas decorations.  Would I be weird if I put them up now?  I just cannot wait.  The Mister bought me a holiday door swag from Costco two weeks ago and I want to rip it out of the box and hang it up already.  No?  Okay, I’ll take it one holiday at a time…

If we were having coffee, I’d apologize for talking your ear off and ask how you’ve been?  What have you been up to?  Are you excited for the holidays?  What are your plans?  Am I on your Christmas list?  Haha, I’m joking on that last question!

I hope y’all have a great Friday and enjoy your weekend!


Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The post where I'm completely honest...

Hello good peeps!  How have you been?  I had every intention of stepping up my bloggy game but again, I fell off the wagon.  Life, I tell ya….it’s just crazy and I feel like I’m being tested to my limit.  My buttons are being pushed and my morals are really, really being tested.  But it’s weird because in the midst of all the craziness, I can feel a sense of peace somewhere deep down and all will be well…in time.  Although my patience is very thin, I’m still holding on.  I continue to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I’ve been hesitant on sharing my thoughts for fear that it would ruffle feathers but I realize now that that’s my problem.  I sugar coat things just to keep the peace and avoid confrontation.  I put myself in this chaos and I let it eat at me because I want to keep everyone else happy.  But there's also another part of me that doesn't often make an appearance.  You know that saying if you think you know me, you better think again?  Yeah?   Well enough is enough because I’m currently at that point and for those who really know me will know that if you push me to that point, I will tell you where to go and how to get there.    I’ve had it and I ain’t holding back.

A lot of crap has been going on.  Sorry for being so blunt but that is what it is…crap.  But I’m thankful for all of this crap because good things are coming out of it.  I’ve talked about wanting to move back to Kona many of times to the point where I roll my own eyes when the subject is brought up.  Anyway…

For the past couple of months, I’ve been noticing the toll that our current living situation is taking on my family, especially the Radicals.  Sometimes I feel like a failure because I’m not giving them everything I wish to give them.  I’m not talking about material things.  I’m talking about things like joy and happiness, allowing them to grow up alongside their cousins, friends, aunties and uncles, and grandparents.  I want to give them a head start and pave a path for them as they grow.  I want to be a great influence on them and I just want to give them a happy childhood full of happy memories but also with life lessons.  And it just seems like if I can’t get my own shit together, how am I supposed to give them anything.  I have goals and dreams for them and to be completely honest, I can’t give them anything if we continue to live here.  I feel like I’m stuck and I’m living someone else’s life.  I feel like I can’t move forward with my own family because the Mister’s mom isn’t ready to come home.  My goals and dreams for my family aren’t aligning with the obligations we have to this house.  I’ve tried telling the Mister’s mom that we have plans to move in the near future and she flat out told me “no.”  I’m going to be honest; that did not sit well with me.  I wasn’t asking; I was giving the heads up.  Nobody tells me what I can and cannot do with my life and my children’s lives.  I am their mother and I know what’s best for them.

The crazy neighbors are not helping my mood and thoughts.  It will never end with them because they refuse to let it end.  That came out of their mouths, by the way.  The funny thing is that the issue isn’t really with us.  The issue is with the Mister’s mom and we just happen to be taking the beating for it.  They don’t make any sense and they continue to cause issues.  We went to court yesterday but they are fighting the TRO and they were very adamant on not wanting contact with us.  That’s another funny thing because they are the ones who make contact so…I don’t get it.  And then he said something about pursuing a lawsuit and his constitutional rights.  Am I the only one who can clearly see that these people are out of their minds?  What does he want?  They want to be the only ones who are able to make trouble and we just have to take it?  Again, I don’t get it.  We go back for a hearing at the end of November but I came to the conclusion that no matter what, this will never end.  There’s nothing we can do to make them stop and we just have to roll with the punches for now.  I’ve turned into a paranoid whacko person.  I’m not putting anything past him.  It’s to the point where I sleep with one eye open, I’m afraid to take the Radicals outside to play, and I’m just paranoid that he’ll do something at any given moment like burn my house down or something.  To the point where the Mister and I have the “they can’t burn our house down if we burn theirs down first!” conversation.  Seriously?  That is so not us and we’re turning into crazy people just like them.  This is what I mean by my morals being tested.  This can’t be healthy.  I’m surprised I didn’t go into labor yet with all this darn stress.

So, the Mister and I had a heart-to-heart and we’ve decided to move back to Kona.  It’s what’s best for the Radicals and for the Mister and me too.  But until then, we’ll keep rolling with the punches and do what we need to do.

And now that I got that off of my chest, hopefully I’ll be back more often.  I’ve been slacking with what’s been going on with us (other than the above) and my bumpdates.  Can you believe I’m in my third trimester?  Holy cow!  Yeah, that’s what I’ve been feeling like.  And can you believe that we’re almost in November?  Oy.


Saturday, October 13, 2012

Join me for coffee?

Hello, hello lovelies!  It’s been a while huh?  I took a small break from Blogland and I have to say that I totally miss y’all.  I’m hopping on Alissa’s Coffee Date linky-wagon today so anyone wanna join me for coffee?  I have to warn you though, we have a lot to catch up on so this date may take a few hours…just kidding.  Or not.

If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you how much I miss Blogland!  It’s been over a month since I’ve logged into Blogger and I have a million posts in my feed waiting for my attention. 

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that saying I’ve been MIA all the time is getting old so I’ll just say that I was feeling disconnected.  I’d tell you that I’ve been trying to settle my inner demons and it’s been quite the battle.  Besides posting about my life and our crazy shenanigans, I’ve had a lot of things going on that is hard to put into words.  When life throws us lemons, make some lemonade.  I get it.  I strive to be positive on my blog but during this lemon season, I was buried under the pile and far from positive.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask you if you remember how I said I’m not as strong in my faith as I’d like to be.  I hear/see all the time to give my worries and issues to Him.  Well, one night while under the lemon pile, I told God (out loud) that I don’t understand how to do that.  I asked Him what he means by that.  I also asked why he would help me or show me the way when I only come to Him when I’m surrounded by chaos.  I’ve been so selfish and I probably don’t deserve His help but all I’m asking is to vent.  I told Him that I could see myself taking actions that are out of my norm and I didn’t like where it was headed.  Those actions, as great as they sounded in my head, just wasn’t me and if I took those actions, who would suffer the consequences?  The Radicals.  And even though the Radicals and I are “suffering” right now, there has to be another way to overcome this.  And then, I saw it.  A post from another blogger.  It was a reminder of who I am.  I took it as a sign from Him and even though He can’t snap his fingers and make the chaos disappear; He can guide me and show me the way.  He is awesome.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my very first nephew made his grand entrance on Wednesday!!!  I’m happy and sad at the same time because we can’t be there.  The Mister is working and I don’t feel comfortable dragging the Radicals on a 5 hour road trip.  ‘Tis true, we could stay with my parents but since my brother, the SIL, and the brand new baby lives with them, I didn’t think it was a good idea.  Loud-germy-Radicals+a brand new baby and mama=a big fat no.  Anyhoo, I’ll post some pictures as soon as I get some.  I can’t wait to get in some snuggles!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my crazy neighbor is at it again.  Him and his crazy shenanigans….I’m not going to go into all the details but I will say that it involves the Radicals and CWS aka CPS aka the people that parents never want to encounter.  This time he went way, way, WAY too far and now he’s playing with fire.  When will this nonsense end?

If we were having coffee, I’d ask about you.  How are you?  What’s going on in your life?  


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

19 weeks :: Panic attacks, a sweet tooth, & the gender

Hello, hello!  It’s been way too long since I’ve done a bumpdate, no?  I’ll get to it but first let me tell you that I’m one step closer to the promise I made y’all.  What promise?  The promise of taking a picture of my pregnant self.  It’s not all that and when you see it, you’ll probably be all “that’s it?!?”  But like I said, I’m one step closer.  Baby steps people, baby steps.  

hello, growing belly...
Okay, okay, I’ll get on with the updates…

` Baby is the size of an heirloom tomato.  Never heard of an “heirloom tomato” but okay.
` I gained another pound!  Yessuh!  Total to date: 2 lbs.
` Even though it’s like Niagara Falls when I pee, I mastered the art of peeing directly into that tiny cup they give you at each check up.  No drips, no spills, no “damn it, I just peed on my hand!
` I’m feeling very BIG and heavy.  And uncomfortable.
` My sweet tooth has returned with a vengeance.  But I’m still not satisfied.  I have all these half eaten candy bars in my fridge because it tastes like wax.  Ice cream is just bleh and fruit smoothies no longer cut it.  I tried reverting back to Starbucks but its like holy moly, did they dump a million pounds of sugar in my drink?  It’s driving me nuts.
` I love hearing baby’s heart beat.  159 bpm (<- is that right?) at my last check up.
` Panic attacks or worry attacks or maybe weirded-out attacks.  I don’t know what to call it.  Stuff I shouldn’t be worried about is well, worrying me.  Things like is the baby going to be okay?  What if the Radicals hate me?  What if they hate the baby?  Am I going to be able to handle 3 little people?  Am I going to survive?  Other life things have been worrying me too but I’ll save you my ramblings about being a worry-wart.
` Other than that, the doc says baby is doing fine and yeah. 

I got nothing else to report.

Oh, except for the gender.  We can’t forget the gender!  So, you know how this whole time I was praying my little heart out for a girl?  And even though my biggest prayer was for a healthy baby, I was still all please, please, PLEASE let it be a girl!  Well, I went to my ultrasound yesterday with my little family in tow and wait!  Before I go on the Mister asked the Radicals if they wanted a brother or a sister.  Radical #1 shouted “SISTER!!!” and I was all “see, most people told me it’s a girl and even the Radical said girl so it definitely has to be a girl.”  So there I am lying on the chair table thing with my belly exposed and the tech is doing her thing when she says “You see that?” 

Lovelies, there was no mistaking it.  It was clear as day. 

I was looking at a pecker.

Boys have peckers.  It’s a boy!  Oh man.  I was so caught up in all things girl.  But that's okay because boys are awesome!  And besides, the Mister warned me that he only gives boys and I guess he’s right. 

So yes, baby is good and IT'S A BOY!!!   

I’m going to be a mom to 3 boys.  Any advice?  I would be very grateful for some wise words.

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Hello Monday :: Changes

Happy Monday, friends!  I know the day is almost over but I’ve been running errands and I did an ultrasound today to see what I’m cooking in this belly of mine.  Stay tuned tomorrow to find out!  Also, I have been MIA once again due to dealing with mixed emotions life has thrown at me over the last couple of weeks.  If you haven’t noticed, I don’t do well with change.  I’m working on it though.  

In my last post I mentioned that Radical #1 would be starting pre-school.  He walked in like a champ, I walked away feeling numb, and Radical #2 was traumatized.   Although I really, really, REALLY wanted to homeschool, the Mister wasn’t having it so I gave into letting go…to putting on my big girl undies and embracing change.

And since its Monday, I’m linking up with LisaLeonard and sharing what I’m saying hello to this week!  There’s just something about Monday.  I feel refreshed.  A day to kick off an awesome week!

Hello to a new schedule and routine.

Hello to Radical #2 and mommy one-on-one time and new adventures!

Hello to growing up and riding his bike without training wheels.

Hello growing belly.

Hello to a new week of homework.

Hello to cramming in tons of work this week.

Hello to all things “Noah’s Ark” for my brother and SIL’s baby shower!

noah's ark theme

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Hello to organization projects.

Hello to treasures found under the house.

Hello to (and embracing!) more overnight fishing trips.

Hello to embracing change.

Hello to an awesome week!

So tell me, what are you saying hello to this week?