Tuesday, November 22, 2011

It's Complicated - Part 3

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If you missed Part 1 and 2, you can go here and here.    

I have to clean all this?  Say what?...

Here I am with the last part.  I promise, I’ll get to the actual part of why my living situation is complicated.  Here we go…  

So, in part two you learned that I became a SAHM.  Being a SAHM is awesome.  I love it!  But with that comes the “stay-at-home” part.  Haha, clever huh?  Anyway, I never really took much notice before but now that I’m home all the time, I noticed that this lady has so much stuff!  We’re talking borderline hoarder status.  Everywhere you turn there is stuff.  Every inch of this house has stuff.  I’m not kidding.  It’s so much stuff that it needs to be cleaned like every week just so that the dust and grime wouldn’t settle.  And it’s hard to ignore when I’m home every day.  

I grew up with a white glove Nazi of a mother, so too much stuff and I don’t go well together. 

I’m going to back it up just a bit with how I didn’t have time to think about it when I was working.  Once a year I would do a major cleaning but since I was on a time crunch, there was no room for grumbling.  I would clean and grumble at the same time.  I would curse at all the knick-knacks that had a year’s worth of dust and grime on them.  But I’d clean them anyway.  And let’s get real here, I wanted to spend my days off with the Radical, not cleaning a bajillion knick-knacks that didn’t belong to me.  I also didn’t think about how this house was not baby-proof because again, we were never home.  Okay, back to the story….

So there I was, a SAHM, being stared at by all this stuff.  I would clean them but as time went on, I would get the itch to put things away.  I honestly was getting tired of cleaning her bajillion knick-knacks.  Who wouldn’t?  I didn’t box these things up but I was starting to move them in her room; out of sight.  I started off slow and inconspicuous with the knick-knacks but eventually her room ran out of room.  It had turned into a storage space which was a problem because 1) I would have to put everything back when Merrie Monarch week rolled around, 2) what would happen if she did a surprise visit, and 3) it was an eye sore.  

The Mister gave me the green light to relocate the furniture that wasn’t baby-proof because now that we’re home all the time, the Radical needed space to roam.  

Then I got another itch.  I was starting to feel like I needed my own space.  I wanted pictures of my own family up, I wanted my own décor up but I can’t do that if there is no room.  I didn’t want to add more stuff to the already stuff-filled house. I wanted a space that felt like my own.  

I wanted our living space to feel like our own but there was one problem: this is still her house.  I feel like I was stepping over some kind of boundaries by putting her stuff away.  What would happen if she came home to visit and all her stuff was put away?  I had a sense of fear.  I anticipated the worst.  There was one time I put away a side table she had out in the living room because it had pointy edges.  With a toddler learning to walk, it was a disaster waiting to happen.  So I moved it but it found its way back into the living room when she was home for Merrie Monarch.

Little knick-knacks (like figurines that the Radical could easily break or rocks) that I put away found their way back to where I took it from.  And I was just getting tired of telling the Radical a million times over not to touch or play with her things.  It would be my fault it he broke it and I honestly didn’t want to go there.  I’d rather just put her things away. So we can all have peace of mind.  But no, things I put away come right back out.  

And that pool table she “bought for the house”?  We have no room for a pool table and we don’t have time to play pool.  But she buys it anyway and ships it over and where does it go?  In the living room where the Radicals play.  I can’t even begin to tell you my frustrations with this.  Did she forget that we have a baby and a toddler?  Do you know the mini heart-attack I had when the Mister forgot to put the balls away?  Radical #1 thought it was an actual ball to throw.  

And that my friends, is why living here is so complicated.  Yes we pay rent and utilities and live here 24/7 but it’s still her house.  I don’t know how to describe my feelings.   I guess it’s a mixture of me not being in control of my surroundings and how she puts the things I put away, back where they were just for me to put it away (again) when she leaves.  I get that it’s her house and she has a say but at the same time she doesn’t live here.  It’s a touchy subject.  

However, the Mister is finally comprehending my feelings because we just re-did the kitchen (I’ll post on that later) and we’re talking about re-doing the whole house.  
I still have some of her stuff out but the bulk of it is put away.  I mean, there’s no inkling that she’s coming home and if I can’t move then I might as well get creative and roll with it.  Not only am I creating my own space but we’re giving her house a facelift at the same time.  A win-win situation again.  The way I look at it is we’re holding up our end of the deal with ‘taking care of the house’ just minus all the ‘stuff’.  

So there you have it…my complicated living situation.  I’m okay though.  I’m learning to embrace this time in our lives; live, learn, and move on.  And not to forget to love and laugh along the way!  

Why did I tell you this? Well, 1) so y’all don’t get confused in the future when I talk about my complicated living situation and 2) I’m not afraid to blog about how I’m human and my life includes spiders, ants, and miniature prehistoric creatures alongside the butterflies and rainbows.  

Happy Tuesday, sweets!  And guess what’s in two days, besides Thanksgiving?  THE MACY’S DAY PARADE!!!  Yes I’m shout-typing because I’m that excited!!!


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