Doubts.

It was music to my ears when The Mister told me “so with all these clients you’re going to have working with your mom…if you can guarantee me that we won’t be struggling, we can move back to Kona.”

Excuse me?  Who are you and where do you come from?  I almost fell off my chair.  He avoided the subject of moving back to Kona like it was the plague and now it was coming out of his mouth.   I couldn’t believe it.

So after his words sunk in and lit a fire under my bottom, I set a goal.  I’m giving myself 6-8 months to get my “stuff” together and then we are out of here!  Goodbye Hilo, hello home sweet home.  My kiddos will be closer to the grand-parentals.  We’ll be closer to family and friends.  I’ll be closer to the hot sun and real beaches.  There will be happy and familiar faces all around.  There will be more things to do!  Sounds awesome right?

Come the next day and I’m having doubts.  Do I really want to move back home?  What if we get there and I change my mind?  I like living in Hilo because I live out in the boonies.  I have neighbors but we’re spaced far apart.  In Kona, the houses are so close together.  I’d have to pay an arm and a leg to live in an area like I’m living now.  The pace is slower in Hilo but there’s just something about this place that’s gloomy. 

Ugh, I don’t know.  I frustrate myself sometimes.  I’ve been complaining about wanting to go back home and now that I have that opportunity, I’m caving.  Maybe it’s just the fear of change?  Not sure.

I’ll just take it day by day and maybe as the time comes closer I’ll be ready.

jenn