The Time I Thought My House Was Going to Burn Down.

*warning: long post ahead…

I’ve been MIA, but I have a good reason.

Ready for a story?

It was Sunday morning.  I’m sipping my cup of joe while reading some of my bloggy favorites.  As I peruse other sites I check the time.  630am, time to get some work in.  I work until the radicals get up and that’s my cue to start breakfast.  *side note: I’m constantly multi-tasking throughout the day so I leave my programs up and running thinking that I’ll get to squeeze in some work (or maybe play).

I’m using the microwave to heat up radical #1’s breakfast and POP!  “what the hell was that?” I sort of screamed.  “oh crap, the outlet is smoking!” I screamed to the mister.  I’m in a full force panic by now because there’s smoke and a weird buzzing sound. 

“sh*t! why is the stereo smoking?” the mister says to me to which I responded “beats the sh*t outta me!?!”  did I mention that the stereo is plugged into a different wall?   “get it! get it!” still screaming at the mister.  “get what?  calm down!” the mister says.  “what is that sound?” the mister asks me.  “what sound?” I reply.  The mister runs to the living room and the ceiling fans are going like 100 mph.  okay, maybe not 100 mph but it was going faster than I’ve ever seen it go.  I’m still panicking which got the mister panicking and he runs downstairs to turn off the main switch to the power. 

I will admit that when I panic, all my common sense is lost.  I’m so thankful the mister was home because god knows that I would have never thought of turning off the main switch if I was home by myself.  The mister tells me he’s going to call tony (the half-butt electrician) and I tell him “NO, you are going to call a real electrician!” to which he replied “hello?!?  It’s Sunday, electricians don’t work on Sunday!”  If you can recall my electrician post a few weeks back, I started in on the mister with how this wouldn’t have happened if we called an electrician in the first place to check everything out thoroughly and this wouldn’t have happened if he just listened to me and I went on and on and on.  I win. 

The mister calls a real electrician and explains to him what just went down.  The electrician says “oh crap you lost your neutral.  Turn off the main switch and I’ll be right there.” Although it was Sunday and we called him in the middle of football, he came.  He came because what just happened is not good and it can’t wait until the next day.  God bless his heart. 

I was so overwhelmed with happiness and thankfulness and I told the mister I feel like we should bake him some cookies or something.  Oh wait.  We have no electric.  Scratch that idea jenn and think of something else.

 As we’re waiting for marty (the electrician) to come I think about my computer.  I know, how selfish of me to think about a computer when our house could have burned down but just stay with me.  I was hoping that it didn’t go kaput on me because I was in the middle of work and didn’t save anything.  I put it to the back of my brain and told myself to deal with it later. 

Marty finally comes and the poor guy was here all day.  I could hear him mumble to himself stuff like “your electrical wiring is weird”, “I’m getting weird numbers”, “I don’t understand why it’s doing that”, “all this stuff is old”, or “this is just weird!”  I watched him run around the upstairs, under the house, and on the roof.  He said something about our electrical panel being old and corroded and it needed to be replaced. At the end of the day he decided to call helco so they can come and check out their lines.  Mr. helco comes, checks it out, brings out his chainsaw and goes at it with our avocado tree.  Mr. helco was thinking that maybe the growth over the lines from the tree contributed to the madness.  Poor tree. 

Marty and mr. helco are talking electrical talk which is gibberish to me but they do a temporary fix.  Hooray, we can take a shower!  I check my computer and I get nothing.  The darn thing won’t turn on.  Awesome.

So after 1200 plus buckaroos, a fried computer, tv, and phone I am slowly getting my house back together.  Hopefully the insurance will cover some of it.  I finally broke down and bought a new phone yesterday and I also got my computer back.  The parentals feel bad that the radicals have no tv so they are bringing one for them this weekend.  I have to say I got a lot of other stuff done that has been calling my name forever.  And the radicals have been functioning very well without a tv.  I can’t say the same for the mister though.  As for me, I’m glad to have my computer back and it got me thinking to invest in a laptop.  I need one after hearing my mom’s heart jump out of her body and plop on the floor when I told her my computer was dead.  She was thankful that we were all okay but I got her stressing out with half a week lost of no work.  Don’t worry mom, work will be done and all will be well. 

Even though I shouldn’t be, I’m still paranoid.  It’ll take a while for the paranoia to go away.  I find myself going around the house checking outlets and sniffing around for smoke.  I unplug everything that is not being used.  I jump at every sound that sounds like a pop!  I’m afraid to vacuum and I still refuse to use the microwave.  That thing has forever traumatized me.

Happy Hump Day Thursday!  Haha.  I think the power outage has fried my brain too…

jenn

In the Dark.

Calling all electricians…who actually know what they’re doing.  Let me start by telling you about this house and its electrical issues: 90% of the outlets don’t work, I can’t use my blow dryer in my room because I guess the voltage is too high and the power will go out, I have to run an extension cord from the living room while I’m vacuuming the back part of the house and I can’t run the ac for too long because again, the power will go out, and now the lights and outlets in my kitchen are not working.

And since there are only so many outlets in the kitchen, over half of them being on the wall that is sometimes working, I’ve been playing musical appliances for months.  One word: HAZARD.  Why don’t I call an electrician you ask?  Well, I have two main reasons. 

The first one being that The Mister has this “friend” who is a so-called electrician.  It’s nice to have a friend come and do the job but I’m not sure if he does a half-butt job just because he’s a friend or he actually really doesn’t know what he’s doing.  Over the past three years, he’s paid visit three times and the issues have never been fully fixed.

His first visit was to fix the power in my room because I ran the ac for too long while I was “nesting” a month before Little Man #1 was to grace the world with his presence.  I was pregnant and I was hot so why not run the ac while I’m cleaning right?  Well I was wrong because the power went out so not only did I not have ac, I didn’t have lights.  No nesting for me until said electrician showed up.  Anyway, while he was here he mumbled something about too much electricity going to one outlet and that he needed to go and get something and he would be back.  Did he come back?  No.  Let me tell you that I had a difficult time holding my tongue because said electrician is The Mister’s friend and I didn’t want it to be awkward.  But do you blame me? I was eight months pregnant with no lights and no ac and all I wanted to do was clean.  Whatever.

On the next visit, he was supposed to fix the hallway light.  He came, took apart the light, and left because he forgot his tool belt.  WTH?!?  He forgot his tool belt?  What do you mean he forgot his tool belt?  Does he do that when he goes to other jobs?  Okay Jenn, calm down.  The light now works but he needs his tool belt so he’ll be back.  But wait, it gets better: he doesn’t come back and the light he took apart had live wires hanging from the ceiling.  Awesome, just awesome.

On his last visit, our living room ceiling fan wasn’t working.  Again, he comes, does a half-butt job and says he’ll be back because he doesn’t have the right tools.  What is with this guy and his disappearing acts and not having tools on hand?  Days go by and I’m irked because it’s HOT and I need my fan.  What does said electrician say to do?  Pull the string hanging from the fan to turn it on…yeah, if I could reach the darn string!  Our ceiling is super high and even if I stood on a chair with a tongs in my hand, I wouldn’t be close to reaching it.

So when the power in the kitchen went out and The Mister said he would call his electrician friend, my answer: NO!  No to the guy who always does a half-butt job, leaves because he forgot his tools, and never comes back.  NO, NO, and NO!

My next option is to call a real electrician.  Dun dun dun….see, the problem with that is this house is so old and I’m afraid they are going to tell me that this house is not up to code and they would have to re-do EVERYTHING.  I can just picture the invoice reading “Total: thousands and thousands of dollars.  Thank you for your business!” Ugh, although that would be nice, my money tree is sort of dead. 

So, until I figure out what I’m going to do, I’ll remain in the dark and continue to play musical appliances.

Happy Hump Day!

jenn