Tuesday, July 23, 2013

They can have their cake and eat it too.

Good morning, lovelies!

Remember how I keep saying that I’m going to do an update on my crazy neighbors?  Well, I wanted to give you the 411 in chronological order but yesterday’s fiasco with them just baffles me.  And I need to share.  I already knew he was crazy but yesterday his delusional-ness topped the delusional cake.

The Radicals and I were having a good day yesterday.  The Mister came home pretty early from fishing.  He and his fishing partner (we’ll just call him R) cleaned up and cut up some fish, and we all hung out for a bit.  Oh and, the Mister and I just started speaking to each other after 4 days because of last Thursday’s fiasco with the crazy people.  It was a good afternoon but it was time for R to leave.  We say our good-byes.  I hear him drive off, stop, and then come back thinking he forgot something.  But he stops in front of the neighbor’s house. 

Oh man.

As R was driving away, the neighbor called him out and was just acting like a fool.  I sprint it up there and just in time to hear the neighbor yell to R “you tell her to prove that she has a 3rd baby!”  Just when I thought it couldn’t get any more absurd, he busts out that line.  What the what?  How the eff is that relevant?  And if I do prove it, will he stop harassing me?  I mean, for the love of goat cheese somebody pinch me because I feel like I’m in the damn twilight zone.

So I start snapping and of course the neighbor does what does best-runs away.  Coward.  He loves to talk his poo and taunt me but as soon as I react, he runs away telling me “C’mon, trespass onto my property!”  Then his mom comes out and gets in my face.  She pushes me and then whacks me in my face. 

Everything went in slow motion as I was having a conversation with my two other selves.  You know the ones; the good one and the not-so-good one that sit on your shoulders whispering the right from wrong to you.  Of all times, y’all have to show up now?  The not-so-good one is all ooohh, there’s your reason to wail on her and the good one is all no, no, no…she’s a little old lady and what if you start and can’t stop and she gets hurt.  What if she falls and hits her head and really gets hurt.  How will you feel after wailing on her?  You’ll have to live with that for the rest of your life.  If you’re going to fight; fight fairly and this clearly is not fair because she’s a little old lady!  Damn you!  Sometimes I hate that I have morals.

Be wise enough to walk away quote via www.IamPoopsie.com

I walked away. 

I hate living here.  Day in and day out I have conversations with myself about being the better person and ignoring them.  Kind of hard when they constantly taunt me.  Sorry moms, I know we had a deal to take care of your house but it ain’t worth it.  I’m either going to end up in jail or in a body bag.  These people are not worth it.

We out….


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