Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Moment of Truth...

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…was yesterday when I had to renew my license - I really do need glasses (sad face).  For years I’ve been in denial, pretending that I can see and I lived by the words “fake it ‘til you make it” when it came to my vision.  Well, I didn’t “make it” yesterday.  I figured that if I went this long without using my glasses, what’s the worst that could happen?  I told myself not to worry and I would pass the eye test.  The time came to put my forehead on that nasty eye tester thing (btw, they didn’t have anything to wipe it with and they don’t clean it regularly, yuck!) and the line I had to read was a big blur.  I stood there trying to focus but soon enough I just started blurting out numbers.  The nice guy gave me three attempts and when I failed all three, he kindly asked if I wore glasses and if so, I needed to come back with them.  Ugh, boo!  Luckily those eyeballs of mine were in the car.  Thanks to the mister and his bright idea of bringing them “just in case.” 

I don’t like to wear my glasses because it feels funny on my face.  The frame is flimsy and I feel that I would break them.  And most of the time they are missing.  I would hide them from the radicals and then forget where I put them.  I would go like half a year without them, then they would appear and I’d use them for a day or two but then they would annoy me and I’d go back to squinting. 

I’ve learned to function without them for the most part.  I would avoid driving in unfamiliar places because I can’t see signs.  When watching tv, I would stand in front of the tv while flipping through channels.  And I don’t do captions well.  I would avoid big crowds because if you’re not right in front of me, you’re a big blur and I don’t want to be judged as “stuck up”.  there are so many times when I can make out a blur waving at me, but I just can’t see who the person really is until they come up to me, like in my face.  I don’t do well with drive-thru’s.  there are times when I want to try something different but I can never see the menu.  When I can finally see the menu I’m being asked for my order.  I get flustered and end up ordering the norm because I don’t want to be known as that person who took forever in the drive-thru. 

So there, I admit that I cannot see.  And I guess it’s time to invest in glasses that I would actually wear.  I’m always being questioned on the whereabouts of my glasses and if I don’t like to use them, I should wear contacts.  Well…

I have a confession to make: I’m afraid of contacts.  They scare me.  first of all, I’m afraid of poking my own eye and it just creeps me out.  I envision jim carey from the movie when nature calls and he’s harassing that guy by poking at his eye.  Very creepy.  and the most important reason is that I’m afraid the contact will somehow roll to the back of my eyeball and get stuck.  And then they’ll have to surgically remove my eyeball to get it out.  Or what if it travels to my brain and gets stuck there?  No thank you, I’d rather squint or get a new pair of glasses.

Guess what, y’all?  Today I am the big 30!!  I’ve been waiting for this day all year.  It’s like starting a new chapter in my life!  But there will be no celebrating for this mama because I have tons of work to do and I’m busy getting ready for radical #2’s birthday beach bash this Saturday!

Happy day, sweets!


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