Coffee Date

Good Friday morning to y’all!  Can you believe its Friday already?  Geez, where did the time go?  How’d this week go by in the blink of an eye?  I guess time flies when you’re having fun!  It’s Friday and we’re doing another round of Coffee Date.  I’m beginning to love this link up because I get to peek into the lives of other great women and see what’s been going on with them.   So, grab your cup of iced Pumpkin Spice Latte or whatever you prefer and let’s chat about life. 

If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you that I got the dreaded call on Tuesday informing me that I failed my 1-hour glucose test.  Oh man, I thought I was in the clear.   I went back yesterday for a 3-hour test and it was torture.  I was hungry and antsy and cold.  It didn’t help that the staff put on the TV to the food channel.  Gee thanks!  I have to sit here starving for 3 hours while I watch Paula Dean and whoever else whip up some yumminess.  It also didn’t help that I had to sit still for 3 hours.  Me and sitting still is not a good match.  But, I followed directions (no, really Jenn?) and read two whole magazines.  It had some pretty interesting stories like the girl who grew up in a storage shed and wasn’t allowed to speak to anyone.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’ve been here but not really here.  I decided to put my foot down and let the Radicals loose this week.  Have at it boys and play your little hearts out because we don’t care if the neighbors get mad.  I.Don’t.Care.Anymore.  I have to be honest and say that there were times that I got a knot in my stomach thinking about the things they could do to us but in the end I still said who gives a rip!  Oh, and I have to say that we did get the bird from them as they drove by.  Yeah, real mature.  Are we in high school?  I didn’t let it bother me because seriously, why give my energy to something as little and immature like that.  And I couldn’t help but laugh when Radical #1 said “mom, the neighbor waved at me!”

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that the above is the reason why I have half-written posts waiting to be completed.  One that is dedicated to my dad because he got all old and soft-hearted on me.  He complained that I didn’t write anything about him on my Facebook ‘About Me’ section.  Oy.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that the art project for the Radicals went well.  It was fun.  The outcome wasn’t what I had envisioned but I do have to remember that they are 3 and 4.  It’ll be up on the blog next week.  Their turkey pumpkin craft will be up on the blog next week too. Along with my DIY wreath.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’m excited to be participating in Megan’s Ornament Swap again!  And this time, I’ll be on it.  It didn’t go so well last year because of me and my one-track mind (sorry Heather).  But, we live and we learn right?

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I totally got off track with the theme today.  I apologize because I’m speechless when it comes to this.  I don’t have any verses to share because the truth is; my mind turns to mush when I do my readings.  To be honest, I don’t understand and it wigs me out.  But what I will tell you is that I continue to cling on to Him daily and talk about my worries and frustrations and the more I do that, the easier it may be to understand eventually.  I mean, look at this past week.  I felt at peace.  I wasn’t the stressed-out-bitter-raging lady.  The Radicals were happy, the Mister was happy.  I was happy.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask how your week was.  Do you talk to Him on a daily basis?  Are you excited for Thanksgiving that is rapidly approaching?

Linking up here:

xoxo,  

Jenn.

Hello Monday!

Hello Lovelies!  How is your three-day weekend going?  Swell, I hope!  My weekend?  Was filled with anxiety.  Yesterday was spent completing my finals and let me tell you…it was brutal.  I’m glad it’s over though.  Today I’m linking up with Lisa Leonard for Hello Monday.  Here are a few things I’m saying “Hello” to this week…

Hello to…a new set of classes!  Yes, I just finished finals yesterday and I’m already starting new classes.  Although I wish I had a day or two to breathe, its better this way so I don’t lose momentum.

Hello to…a pedicure that is really needed.  Y’all, it’s been forever!  I do my own pedicures and the way I’ve been feeling lately has had me exhausted and my belly is sort of in the way.  I don’t really like going to the salon because I’m an impatient person.  I just can’t sit there and be still.  It’s more like torture instead of relaxing.  So, I’m on a mission to get my toes done this week.  Do y'all like this color?

via

 Hello to…shopping (ugh, I hate shopping!) for a Thanksgiving outfit.  I kind of-sort of have a ‘me’ day on Friday so I’m taking advantage of the free time.  And since I hate shopping, I should prepare myself before I go.  Any ideas?

Hello to…letting go.  Letting go of situations that I cannot control.  Why am I getting amped up over something that really shouldn’t bother me?  I know who I am and what my goals are so why do I give into this nonsense?  Let it go Jenn…

Hello to…some real family time.  Like I said, I’ve been so out of it for the past how many weeks.  Or months.  I’m letting go and focusing on what’s important.

Hello to…art projects for the Radicals.  I’m really going to put my best foot forward and get this done.  Haha!  It sounds good  in my head but it might be a different story when we actually do it.  I’ll keep you posted.

Hello to…my DIY Fall wreath.  I know I’m kind of late in the game and Christmas decorations are going up in two weeks but I didn’t purchase all the materials for nothing.  Which is funny because I purchased everything in October.  Ah, procrastination.  I’m saying good-bye to you this week.

What are you saying hello to this week?

Jenn.

Coffee Date Friday

Yay, its Friday!  Happy Friday!  Happy November!  Do you know what happens around these parts when November rolls around?  I get to pull out the big red boxes full of Christmas decorations!!!  I know I’m totally getting ahead of myself but I am counting down the days {stinky side-eye from the Mister…}.  Anyhoots, since today is Friday I’m doing the linky-dance with Alissa for Coffee Date Friday.  Who’s with me?

If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you that we finally have a name for our Radical to-be!  Ah, finally!  It’s been the battle of the names around here until we finally came to an agreement last night.  The Mister wanted to partake in the naming but he shot down every name we talked about.  I was starting to think he was doing that just to piss me off so in an attempt to make him focus, I threw out names like Billy Bob and Charleston Lane and Maximus Corpus (not sure where that one came from).  So after getting a good laugh over the silly names, we finally decided on…Mark Taula’i.  The Mister was shocked that I wasn’t adding another name  to Mark since the other two Radicals have a hyphenated first name.  I like this one.  It’s nice and simple.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I cannot wait until this week is over.  Wait, let me re-phrase that – I cannot wait until finals are over which will be on Sunday.  I’m hanging on by a thread and my final essay that’s due on Sunday is making me crazy. 

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’ve been diligently working on my emotions and patience.  Not only because I hate feeling this way but also because I got a huge slap in the face this week.  The BS and drama going on with the neighbor has had me on edge and constantly walking on egg shells.  I’ve been bitter and angry because we have to live with it for now and adjust our lives just to keep the peace.  We’re prisoners in our own home.  I’m constantly “shhhh”-ing the Radicals. We don’t get out for fear that the neighbors will get mad and start something.  What fun is playing outside when we have to be mute?  Anyway, earlier this week in the middle of my bitterness, Radical #1 told me “here mom, I have a heart for you so it can make you happy and not mad and you won’t yell at us anymore.”  Well shoot, just gouge my eyeballs out and stab me in the heart why don’t you!  Radical #1.  My 4 year old.  That came out of his mouth and it pierced my heart and stopped me dead in my tracks.  Sounds dramatic but hello!  I felt awful.  Yep, Mother of the Year award goes to Jenn.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I got to hold my very first nephew 2 weeks ago.  I know I said I was going to show pictures but I was caught up in the new baby moment and there was no time for pictures.  I’ll do my best to take some pictures when we go back for Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving…which happens to be in two weeks.  TWO WEEKS people!  Didn’t we just start November?  What the???  I wish time would slow down even if it’s just a teeny-tiny bit.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that we went to feed the ducks on Wednesday and holy moly!  It was like the whole duck population of Hilo, Hawaii was there.  They were everywhere.  I haven’t seen so many ducks in one place in my entire life.  The Radicals had fun though and of course the Mister had to get all native and make fishing poles out of sticks so the Radicals could catch torture some fish.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask your opinion on Christmas decorations.  Would I be weird if I put them up now?  I just cannot wait.  The Mister bought me a holiday door swag from Costco two weeks ago and I want to rip it out of the box and hang it up already.  No?  Okay, I’ll take it one holiday at a time…

If we were having coffee, I’d apologize for talking your ear off and ask how you’ve been?  What have you been up to?  Are you excited for the holidays?  What are your plans?  Am I on your Christmas list?  Haha, I’m joking on that last question!

I hope y’all have a great Friday and enjoy your weekend!

xoxo,

Jenn.

The post where I'm completely honest...

Hello good peeps!  How have you been?  I had every intention of stepping up my bloggy game but again, I fell off the wagon.  Life, I tell ya….it’s just crazy and I feel like I’m being tested to my limit.  My buttons are being pushed and my morals are really, really being tested.  But it’s weird because in the midst of all the craziness, I can feel a sense of peace somewhere deep down and all will be well…in time.  Although my patience is very thin, I’m still holding on.  I continue to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I’ve been hesitant on sharing my thoughts for fear that it would ruffle feathers but I realize now that that’s my problem.  I sugar coat things just to keep the peace and avoid confrontation.  I put myself in this chaos and I let it eat at me because I want to keep everyone else happy.  But there's also another part of me that doesn't often make an appearance.  You know that saying if you think you know me, you better think again?  Yeah?   Well enough is enough because I’m currently at that point and for those who really know me will know that if you push me to that point, I will tell you where to go and how to get there.    I’ve had it and I ain’t holding back.

A lot of crap has been going on.  Sorry for being so blunt but that is what it is…crap.  But I’m thankful for all of this crap because good things are coming out of it.  I’ve talked about wanting to move back to Kona many of times to the point where I roll my own eyes when the subject is brought up.  Anyway…

For the past couple of months, I’ve been noticing the toll that our current living situation is taking on my family, especially the Radicals.  Sometimes I feel like a failure because I’m not giving them everything I wish to give them.  I’m not talking about material things.  I’m talking about things like joy and happiness, allowing them to grow up alongside their cousins, friends, aunties and uncles, and grandparents.  I want to give them a head start and pave a path for them as they grow.  I want to be a great influence on them and I just want to give them a happy childhood full of happy memories but also with life lessons.  And it just seems like if I can’t get my own shit together, how am I supposed to give them anything.  I have goals and dreams for them and to be completely honest, I can’t give them anything if we continue to live here.  I feel like I’m stuck and I’m living someone else’s life.  I feel like I can’t move forward with my own family because the Mister’s mom isn’t ready to come home.  My goals and dreams for my family aren’t aligning with the obligations we have to this house.  I’ve tried telling the Mister’s mom that we have plans to move in the near future and she flat out told me “no.”  I’m going to be honest; that did not sit well with me.  I wasn’t asking; I was giving the heads up.  Nobody tells me what I can and cannot do with my life and my children’s lives.  I am their mother and I know what’s best for them.

The crazy neighbors are not helping my mood and thoughts.  It will never end with them because they refuse to let it end.  That came out of their mouths, by the way.  The funny thing is that the issue isn’t really with us.  The issue is with the Mister’s mom and we just happen to be taking the beating for it.  They don’t make any sense and they continue to cause issues.  We went to court yesterday but they are fighting the TRO and they were very adamant on not wanting contact with us.  That’s another funny thing because they are the ones who make contact so…I don’t get it.  And then he said something about pursuing a lawsuit and his constitutional rights.  Am I the only one who can clearly see that these people are out of their minds?  What does he want?  They want to be the only ones who are able to make trouble and we just have to take it?  Again, I don’t get it.  We go back for a hearing at the end of November but I came to the conclusion that no matter what, this will never end.  There’s nothing we can do to make them stop and we just have to roll with the punches for now.  I’ve turned into a paranoid whacko person.  I’m not putting anything past him.  It’s to the point where I sleep with one eye open, I’m afraid to take the Radicals outside to play, and I’m just paranoid that he’ll do something at any given moment like burn my house down or something.  To the point where the Mister and I have the “they can’t burn our house down if we burn theirs down first!” conversation.  Seriously?  That is so not us and we’re turning into crazy people just like them.  This is what I mean by my morals being tested.  This can’t be healthy.  I’m surprised I didn’t go into labor yet with all this darn stress.

So, the Mister and I had a heart-to-heart and we’ve decided to move back to Kona.  It’s what’s best for the Radicals and for the Mister and me too.  But until then, we’ll keep rolling with the punches and do what we need to do.

And now that I got that off of my chest, hopefully I’ll be back more often.  I’ve been slacking with what’s been going on with us (other than the above) and my bumpdates.  Can you believe I’m in my third trimester?  Holy cow!  Yeah, that’s what I’ve been feeling like.  And can you believe that we’re almost in November?  Oy.

Jenn.

Join me for coffee?

Hello, hello lovelies!  It’s been a while huh?  I took a small break from Blogland and I have to say that I totally miss y’all.  I’m hopping on Alissa’s Coffee Date linky-wagon today so anyone wanna join me for coffee?  I have to warn you though, we have a lot to catch up on so this date may take a few hours…just kidding.  Or not.

If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you how much I miss Blogland!  It’s been over a month since I’ve logged into Blogger and I have a million posts in my feed waiting for my attention. 

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that saying I’ve been MIA all the time is getting old so I’ll just say that I was feeling disconnected.  I’d tell you that I’ve been trying to settle my inner demons and it’s been quite the battle.  Besides posting about my life and our crazy shenanigans, I’ve had a lot of things going on that is hard to put into words.  When life throws us lemons, make some lemonade.  I get it.  I strive to be positive on my blog but during this lemon season, I was buried under the pile and far from positive.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask you if you remember how I said I’m not as strong in my faith as I’d like to be.  I hear/see all the time to give my worries and issues to Him.  Well, one night while under the lemon pile, I told God (out loud) that I don’t understand how to do that.  I asked Him what he means by that.  I also asked why he would help me or show me the way when I only come to Him when I’m surrounded by chaos.  I’ve been so selfish and I probably don’t deserve His help but all I’m asking is to vent.  I told Him that I could see myself taking actions that are out of my norm and I didn’t like where it was headed.  Those actions, as great as they sounded in my head, just wasn’t me and if I took those actions, who would suffer the consequences?  The Radicals.  And even though the Radicals and I are “suffering” right now, there has to be another way to overcome this.  And then, I saw it.  A post from another blogger.  It was a reminder of who I am.  I took it as a sign from Him and even though He can’t snap his fingers and make the chaos disappear; He can guide me and show me the way.  He is awesome.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my very first nephew made his grand entrance on Wednesday!!!  I’m happy and sad at the same time because we can’t be there.  The Mister is working and I don’t feel comfortable dragging the Radicals on a 5 hour road trip.  ‘Tis true, we could stay with my parents but since my brother, the SIL, and the brand new baby lives with them, I didn’t think it was a good idea.  Loud-germy-Radicals+a brand new baby and mama=a big fat no.  Anyhoo, I’ll post some pictures as soon as I get some.  I can’t wait to get in some snuggles!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my crazy neighbor is at it again.  Him and his crazy shenanigans….I’m not going to go into all the details but I will say that it involves the Radicals and CWS aka CPS aka the people that parents never want to encounter.  This time he went way, way, WAY too far and now he’s playing with fire.  When will this nonsense end?

If we were having coffee, I’d ask about you.  How are you?  What’s going on in your life?  

 Jenn.

19 weeks :: Panic attacks, a sweet tooth, & the gender

Hello, hello!  It’s been way too long since I’ve done a bumpdate, no?  I’ll get to it but first let me tell you that I’m one step closer to the promise I made y’all.  What promise?  The promise of taking a picture of my pregnant self.  It’s not all that and when you see it, you’ll probably be all “that’s it?!?”  But like I said, I’m one step closer.  Baby steps people, baby steps.  

hello, growing belly...

Okay, okay, I’ll get on with the updates…

` Baby is the size of an heirloom tomato.  Never heard of an “heirloom tomato” but okay.

` I gained another pound!  Yessuh!  Total to date: 2 lbs.

` Even though it’s like Niagara Falls when I pee, I mastered the art of peeing directly into that tiny cup they give you at each check up.  No drips, no spills, no “damn it, I just peed on my hand!”

` I’m feeling very BIG and heavy.  And uncomfortable.

` My sweet tooth has returned with a vengeance.  But I’m still not satisfied.  I have all these half eaten candy bars in my fridge because it tastes like wax.  Ice cream is just bleh and fruit smoothies no longer cut it.  I tried reverting back to Starbucks but its like holy moly, did they dump a million pounds of sugar in my drink?  It’s driving me nuts.

` I love hearing baby’s heart beat.  159 bpm (<- is that right?) at my last check up.

` Panic attacks or worry attacks or maybe weirded-out attacks.  I don’t know what to call it.  Stuff I shouldn’t be worried about is well, worrying me.  Things like is the baby going to be okay?  What if the Radicals hate me?  What if they hate the baby?  Am I going to be able to handle 3 little people?  Am I going to survive?  Other life things have been worrying me too but I’ll save you my ramblings about being a worry-wart.

` Other than that, the doc says baby is doing fine and yeah. 

I got nothing else to report.

Oh, except for the gender.  We can’t forget the gender!  So, you know how this whole time I was praying my little heart out for a girl?  And even though my biggest prayer was for a healthy baby, I was still all please, please, PLEASE let it be a girl!  Well, I went to my ultrasound yesterday with my little family in tow and wait!  Before I go on the Mister asked the Radicals if they wanted a brother or a sister.  Radical #1 shouted “SISTER!!!” and I was all “see, most people told me it’s a girl and even the Radical said girl so it definitely has to be a girl.”  So there I am lying on the chair table thing with my belly exposed and the tech is doing her thing when she says “You see that?” 

Lovelies, there was no mistaking it.  It was clear as day. 

I was looking at a pecker.

Boys have peckers.  It’s a boy!  Oh man.  I was so caught up in all things girl.  But that's okay because boys are awesome!  And besides, the Mister warned me that he only gives boys and I guess he’s right. 

So yes, baby is good and IT'S A BOY!!!   

I’m going to be a mom to 3 boys.  Any advice?  I would be very grateful for some wise words.

Happy Tuesday!

Hello Monday :: Changes

Happy Monday, friends!  I know the day is almost over but I’ve been running errands and I did an ultrasound today to see what I’m cooking in this belly of mine.  Stay tuned tomorrow to find out!  Also, I have been MIA once again due to dealing with mixed emotions life has thrown at me over the last couple of weeks.  If you haven’t noticed, I don’t do well with change.  I’m working on it though.  

In my last post I mentioned that Radical #1 would be starting pre-school.  He walked in like a champ, I walked away feeling numb, and Radical #2 was traumatized.   Although I really, really, REALLY wanted to homeschool, the Mister wasn’t having it so I gave into letting go…to putting on my big girl undies and embracing change.

And since its Monday, I’m linking up with LisaLeonard and sharing what I’m saying hello to this week!  There’s just something about Monday.  I feel refreshed.  A day to kick off an awesome week!

Hello to a new schedule and routine.

Hello to Radical #2 and mommy one-on-one time and new adventures!

Hello to growing up and riding his bike without training wheels.

Hello growing belly.

Hello to a new week of homework.

Hello to cramming in tons of work this week.

Hello to all things “Noah’s Ark” for my brother and SIL’s baby shower!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/blackleafdesign

blog.pinkcakebox.com

Hello to organization projects.

Hello to treasures found under the house.

Hello to (and embracing!) more overnight fishing trips.

Hello to embracing change.

Hello to an awesome week!

So tell me, what are you saying hello to this week?

Jenn.