19 weeks :: Panic attacks, a sweet tooth, & the gender

Hello, hello!  It’s been way too long since I’ve done a bumpdate, no?  I’ll get to it but first let me tell you that I’m one step closer to the promise I made y’all.  What promise?  The promise of taking a picture of my pregnant self.  It’s not all that and when you see it, you’ll probably be all “that’s it?!?”  But like I said, I’m one step closer.  Baby steps people, baby steps.  

hello, growing belly...

Okay, okay, I’ll get on with the updates…

` Baby is the size of an heirloom tomato.  Never heard of an “heirloom tomato” but okay.

` I gained another pound!  Yessuh!  Total to date: 2 lbs.

` Even though it’s like Niagara Falls when I pee, I mastered the art of peeing directly into that tiny cup they give you at each check up.  No drips, no spills, no “damn it, I just peed on my hand!”

` I’m feeling very BIG and heavy.  And uncomfortable.

` My sweet tooth has returned with a vengeance.  But I’m still not satisfied.  I have all these half eaten candy bars in my fridge because it tastes like wax.  Ice cream is just bleh and fruit smoothies no longer cut it.  I tried reverting back to Starbucks but its like holy moly, did they dump a million pounds of sugar in my drink?  It’s driving me nuts.

` I love hearing baby’s heart beat.  159 bpm (<- is that right?) at my last check up.

` Panic attacks or worry attacks or maybe weirded-out attacks.  I don’t know what to call it.  Stuff I shouldn’t be worried about is well, worrying me.  Things like is the baby going to be okay?  What if the Radicals hate me?  What if they hate the baby?  Am I going to be able to handle 3 little people?  Am I going to survive?  Other life things have been worrying me too but I’ll save you my ramblings about being a worry-wart.

` Other than that, the doc says baby is doing fine and yeah. 

I got nothing else to report.

Oh, except for the gender.  We can’t forget the gender!  So, you know how this whole time I was praying my little heart out for a girl?  And even though my biggest prayer was for a healthy baby, I was still all please, please, PLEASE let it be a girl!  Well, I went to my ultrasound yesterday with my little family in tow and wait!  Before I go on the Mister asked the Radicals if they wanted a brother or a sister.  Radical #1 shouted “SISTER!!!” and I was all “see, most people told me it’s a girl and even the Radical said girl so it definitely has to be a girl.”  So there I am lying on the chair table thing with my belly exposed and the tech is doing her thing when she says “You see that?” 

Lovelies, there was no mistaking it.  It was clear as day. 

I was looking at a pecker.

Boys have peckers.  It’s a boy!  Oh man.  I was so caught up in all things girl.  But that's okay because boys are awesome!  And besides, the Mister warned me that he only gives boys and I guess he’s right. 

So yes, baby is good and IT'S A BOY!!!   

I’m going to be a mom to 3 boys.  Any advice?  I would be very grateful for some wise words.

Happy Tuesday!

Hello Monday :: Changes

Happy Monday, friends!  I know the day is almost over but I’ve been running errands and I did an ultrasound today to see what I’m cooking in this belly of mine.  Stay tuned tomorrow to find out!  Also, I have been MIA once again due to dealing with mixed emotions life has thrown at me over the last couple of weeks.  If you haven’t noticed, I don’t do well with change.  I’m working on it though.  

In my last post I mentioned that Radical #1 would be starting pre-school.  He walked in like a champ, I walked away feeling numb, and Radical #2 was traumatized.   Although I really, really, REALLY wanted to homeschool, the Mister wasn’t having it so I gave into letting go…to putting on my big girl undies and embracing change.

And since its Monday, I’m linking up with LisaLeonard and sharing what I’m saying hello to this week!  There’s just something about Monday.  I feel refreshed.  A day to kick off an awesome week!

Hello to a new schedule and routine.

Hello to Radical #2 and mommy one-on-one time and new adventures!

Hello to growing up and riding his bike without training wheels.

Hello growing belly.

Hello to a new week of homework.

Hello to cramming in tons of work this week.

Hello to all things “Noah’s Ark” for my brother and SIL’s baby shower!

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Hello to organization projects.

Hello to treasures found under the house.

Hello to (and embracing!) more overnight fishing trips.

Hello to embracing change.

Hello to an awesome week!

So tell me, what are you saying hello to this week?

Jenn.

Life Happenings

Good day, Lovelies!  Does anyone get thrown off if your plan doesn’t go as planned?  Even the slightest change?  No?  It’s just me then?  I annoy myself when that happens to me and I’m really trying to fix it.  Really.  Anyway, my thoughts are all over the creation so today I’m giving you a peek of what’s inside this chaos brain of mine.  It’s not as scary as you think though.

Is it horrible that my 4 and 2 year old has taken over my computer?  Sheesh, I can’t even get on it for a second without these little monkeys getting bent out of shape.  I'm hoping I can get this post done before the monkeys return.  Note to self: strap your balls on and stop this nonsense pronto.  Damn you Discovery Channel.  

Class has been killing me!  I feel like I’m doing nothing but writing.  I hate writing.  This is exactly why I chose accounting; for the numbers! I function better with numbers.  Do accountants write essays?  Man, I hope this is over soon.  I don’t know how much more I can take before I go crazy and start writing nonsense.

Lately, I haven’t been satisfied.  In the food department.  Get your heads out of the gutter.  Oh wait, was that just my head in the gutter?  Haha!  Anyway, I’ve been hungry and nothing seems to satisfy me.  So, I made beef stew and chicken long rice and oh my gosh!  I could eat that for the rest of my life.  My tummy has been doing the happy dance which will unfortunately stop because my family will not be happy campers if we had that every.single.day.  So, if y’all have any ideas as to what I should eat to feel satisfied, I’ll love you forever.  I don’t like going to bed hungry even after eating said beef stew and chicken long rice, and caramel drumsticks, salami, cheese, and Triscuits, and pizza.

The Mister has been pulling a lot of overnighters lately.  Ugh.  Jobs have been slow so he’s been fishing.  Although it helps keep us financially afloat I still cringe at the fact that he’s out on the ocean.  At night.  Ugh again.  And to make my worrying worse, he hasn’t called yet.  Do you know the things that go through my mind when he doesn’t check in?  Let’s just say that he’s provoking a beat down if he doesn’t call soon.

Radical #1 starts preschool next Friday.  Although I was really, really, REALLY wanting to home-school, the Mister wasn’t having any part of it.  And so, I’m sucking it up and trying to stay positive.  I can’t promise anything though.  I’ll probably be the one kicking and screaming come the first day.  Ha!  Imagine that.  Pray for me please.

Why didn’t anyone tell me about Lilikoi Iced Tea?  Oh Lordy.  Would I get weird looks for wiping out the whole shelf at the grocery?  It is so yummy especially when I put it in the freezer and it turns into slush.  Just heavenly I tell you.

I’ve been slacking on my “bumpdates.”  Nothing has changed.  Oh, except that I got my energy back.  Wa-to the-hoo!  Oh, and I gained a pound.  I have an ultrasound next Wednesday but the nurse lady told me not to get my hopes up for seeing if baby has a pecker or va-jayjay.  Oh man.  If anything I’m still praying that he or she will show the goods.  This is the only time I’m encouraging you to spread your legs!  I came super close to taking a picture of myself for the bumpdates.  I was all ready and pumped but the Mister took my camera that morning.  Thank God for camera snatchers!  Haha!  I promise you that I will do it one day.

I’m re-visiting the overnight fishing trips.  I just got a call from the Mister and this is exactly why I worry.  He called to tell me that he’s down at the boat shop because one of his motors broke while coming in and he almost ended up on the rocks.  This is what I mean!  What if it broke when he was far out?  Would the one working motor get him to land?  Or will it get him half way and then break down of exhaustion and then he’d have to putt-putt in?  Good grief!  And I guess this guy knows me because before I could say anything, he quickly said “k-Igottagobye!”  Click.  Don’t think you’re getting off that easy; you have an earful waiting for when you get home buddy.  I hate overnight fishing trips.  There, I said it.

Other than that, this is all I got.  I’m still working on the nudity post.  You know when it sounds good in your head but it’s totally different in writing?  Yeah.  Anyway, I hope you have a great Tuesday!  I’m off to finish up some homework.

Peace out!

Jenn.

Blame it on the hormones!

Happy Monday and holy August!  When did that happen?  It makes me excited and nervous at the same time.  

I totally realize that the last time I posted was 2 weeks ago but I’ve been hiding under a rock.  Trust me when I say it was better for EVERYONE that I stay under said rock until I returned to acting like a normal human being. 

I spared the Radicals my “ucky” behavior but everyone else that came into contact with me?  Oy.  But luckily I was shown some mercy since I’m growing a human and my emotions are were whacked!   

For real.  

I was sensitive, emotional, bitter, snappy, irrational.  You get the point.  I sometimes found myself talking to myself saying “GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, JENN!!!”  People annoyed me for reasons that did not exist.  Yeah, and the poor Mister.  I don’t know what else to say except “I’m sorry.”  

In the beginning he said I was a raging lunatic but he took it with a grain of salt; maybe because he knew this ridiculousness would end sooner than later.  I was horrible.  Stupid things that I would normally shrug off irritated the craziness out of me.  

I invented new meanings of questions he’d normally ask me.  Like “Hi hun, what did you guys do today?” translated to a sarcastic “did you do anything else besides sit around today?”  

Or here’s another one: the laundry and I have had issues and instead of folding and putting them away, I’d just pile it on the couch.  It was the norm for the Mister to head for the couch instead of the closet.   Anyway, I found the energy to fold and put away the whole pile and so far the couch has been free of laundry.  So one day during my “ucky” behavior he asked “Do I have any clean clothes?” which of course I took the wrong way and mumbled under my breath “What am I, your maid?  Do your own effing laundry then!”  

Yes, I hang my head in shame.  Poor guy, I don’t blame him for asking that because he got into the habit of going to the couch and when the couch is laundry-free, what else is he supposed to think?!  

We went to Outback one night and I really wanted Coconut Shrimp.  My brother ate the last one.  I was pissed.  I said “Where’s my shrimp?!” to which my mother quickly replied “I ordered another one!”  Sheesh, calm down Jenn, it’s just shrimp.  Nothing to get your panties in a bunch over.  

So yes, I’ve been horrible which is why I’ve been MIA.  But don’t fret, I’m back to normal and I’m hoping I stay this way for the rest of my pregnancy.  I will be back because I really do have so much to tell you.  Here’s hints of what’s to come: toilets, targets, nudity, the one time I thought the Mister was going to kill me, and bumpdates.  

But until then, I hope you all have a wonderful Monday!  And because these little stinkers put a smile on my face, I’ll leave you with this silly picture.

Jenn.