Am I doomed?

To be the only person on this Earth who will not get married?  It was never an issue before and if I remember correctly, I would always say that I’d never get married.  When people would ask me why, I’d be a smart-ass and say “because I like having one foot out the door”.  Well Jenn, now you can take that foot and eat it!  Great, I put myself in this position huh? 

Its funny how in 5 months, my thinking changed.  In my very first post I said I was fine with the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing but in all honesty, I don’t feel that way anymore.  Now that I’ve/we’ve grown I have a change of heart and it’s something that’s constantly on my mind. 

All sorts of unpleasant things run through my mind when he says we don’t need to get married.  Questions like “am I not the person for him?” or “does he have plans on leaving me for a younger, beautiful female?” or “what am I doing wrong?” 

He tells me I’m crazy, to stop thinking that way, and that people get married only to get divorced.  What?  That doesn’t even make sense. He goes on and on about all these couples (friends of ours) who get married then divorced.  He has a whole list of couples and when I think of another couple he’s all “they’re having problems and are about to get divorced.”  Always an answer for everything huh?

He says marriage only ruins things and why fix something (our relationship) when it’s not broken?  That doesn’t make sense either.  He thinks that I’ll leave him once we get married.  Wait a minute, I’m the one who wants to get married and when it finally happens, I’m going to leave you?  Okay, that totally does not make sense. 

He says people in the relationship change when they’re married.  Like how?  An alien will take over my body once we tie the knot?  We’re coming up on being together for 8 years.  8 years.  I think after 8 years I’d have a hard time changing.  We’ve been to the doors of hell and back.  What could possibly come our way that we couldn’t overcome?  I’ve given my all, my whole heart, I’ve put up with crap that most people would walk away from, I know that a relationship is a two-way street.  I feel like I’ve proved myself to handle whatever bumps we encounter.  I don’t know.  Maybe we need to actually go into hell. 

Another thing he says is “we’re common law already and marriage is just a piece of paper.”  I don’t do common law.  I don’t like it when people call him my husband because it’s “common law”.  I don’t like it when my parents introduce him as their “son in-law”.  Don’t call him something he’s not.  It’s just another one of my weird things. 

Oh, I give up.  I’m done talking about this subject.  I don’t want to force him into it; what fun would that be?  It is what it is and I’ll have to accept it. 

The End.

jenn

PS.  Even though I’m done talking about this, feedback from you married folk would be nice.  You know, just to broaden my horizon.  I feel that I may be looking at this the wrong way.  Thank you.

Is there something in the air?

Don’t let this picture fool you…

Because they have not been so cute lately.  It seems like they are becoming more and more rotten as the days go on.  Lately, taking them out in public has been difficult.  I don’t know where this came from.  They were fine before but now, I dread it. This is all new to me and dealing with their attitude is the pits. 

They are total beeshes!

Since when did they think they can get something every time we go to the store?  And since when did they think that they can start whining and screaming when they don’t get something?  This is what’s been happening lately and when this shiz goes down, I start to have hot flashes and all I want to do is beat spank them.  But we are in public and some people around me feel the need to look at me in disbelief and shake their head.  It’s one of those “damn if you do, damn if you don’t” kind of things.  You scold/spank them and people do the head shaking or say “they’re just kids!” or if you don’t do any form of discipline then you get the looks like “control your kids!” 

But I find that spanking them only makes it worse so instead of spanking them I will tell them, in my firmest tone possible, that we are here to get only the things we need and the way they are acting is inappropriate behavior.  Then I make a mad dash for the items I need and we are rapidly out of there.  I’m finding that this approach is slowly working and the whines and screaming are stopping faster.

I hope this is just a phase and it will go away pronto because this new form that they both took on is wigging me out.  Any other mamas out there have or had the same issue?  Is this normal for a 2 and 3 year old?  Or, is it the store’s air that makes them transform into something of a different kind (haha!)

jenn

Manners...ever heard of them?

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Or maybe it’s called common courtesy?  I don’t know but either way, some people need to learn it.  I’ve never came across so much people who don’t have manners or, um, common courtesy.  I’m not sure if y’all are going to agree with me.  This is just my opinion and feelings.

When I go into a store or an office and there’s someone walking in behind me or coming out, I hold the door open.  That’s just how I was raised.  That’s what I know.  But I’ve been seeing less of this and I’ve had one too many doors in my face that I want to scream. And most of these people are males! I mean, seriously?!  Did you not see me right behind you?  Oh no, I know you saw me because you looked back at me while walking in.  Would holding the door take up that much of your time?  I mean, we’re talking a millisecond.  Whatever.  Thanks a lot!

Or, another situation is when I’m coming out and the person (again, most times a male) coming in thinks I’m holding the door open for them.  Try let me get out of the door first and then I’ll be glad to hold the door open for you.  Or when I do hold the door open, the person either looks at me like I’m strange (ever heard of the phrase ‘thank you’?) or walks out like they’re the king or queen of Hawaii.  Like holding the door open for them is my job and I should be honored to be in their presence.  Pssht!  I’ll be happy to slam this door in yo’ face and knock some sense back into you because you are so not the king or queen of Hawaii!  Okay sorry, I wouldn’t say that but sometimes I think it. 

It’s just that this really bothers me.  I know I need to get over it. But before I get over it, here’s another example: Just the other day I was coming out of the doctor’s office with my radicals in tow when there was a couple coming in.  I could’ve been rude and acted like I didn’t see them so they had to move but I’m not rude like that.  So we move to the side and wait.  They can see us. His wife walks in.  He walks in.  The door closes and he looks back at me and then looks at the door.  I shit you not.  Again, seriously?!  I’m not saying that I need special treatment because I have kids.  But when I see someone with their hands full (of whatever it may be), I’m quick to hold the door open for them.   

It’s come to a point where I think I need anger management for this.  And you better believe that when my radicals get older and I see them do sh*t like that, they’ll get a slap in the head. Damn straight.  Or maybe I should take another look at my goals and practice some ‘patience’.  Does anyone else agree on the holding the door open thing?  Or do you disagree?  Feel free to share your take on it because I think I’m going nuts!

Until then,

jenn

Christmas Run-Down.

I know, I know.  Christmas was sooo last year but I need to post this because this past Christmas was…well, special.  Don’t get me wrong, every Christmas is special but this past one was extra special.  It was the first year that my little family and I celebrated at ‘home’, by ourselves. 

In the past we would go home-home; to my hometown to spend it with my parents and brothers.  But this year was different. 

The mister’s brother and SIL and their kiddos were supposed to come but things happened and they didn’t come.  Although I was kind of sad, I told myself all would be okay because even though we’re not going home-home, this would be our first Christmas with just ‘us’.  Cheers to new memories and traditions! 

It was so peaceful and awesome to not have to load up all our crap and make the 3 hour drive.  It was awesome to wake up in my own bed.  It was so awesome to have the radicals open up their presents in our own living room.  So awesome to be ‘home’ and not have to stress about anything.

Besides that, it was the first year making Christmas dinner by myself.  The first year making my own turkey.  I was so overwhelmed with paranoia it took me forever to get started.  I was mostly overwhelmed with the thought of giving everyone food poisoning.  When I first started my dad was all “don’t forget to take the bag and neck bone (I’m not sure if that’s what he called it…) out and boil all the contents in the bag and the neck (?) for a few hours in a separate pot.” 

Okay, sounds easy enough.  I go to reach in the turkey and no bag.  I tell the mister about the supposed bag and he’s all “well maybe his turkey is different and ours doesn’t have a bag?”  Fine.  Enough with searching for the bag.  I proceed to make the stuffing and start to stuff the turkey.  I’m thinking to myself how much of a good job I’m doing as I’m still stuffing away.  I’m almost done stuffing when I remembered that dad said I could stuff the front of the bird. 

Low and behold, what do I find?  The darn bag!  I took a big sigh of relief and thanked God that I found it because the turkey would have been totally ruined! 

So, that was my first turkey making experience and it was quite fun despite my paranoia.  Now I can see why my dad is so over making holiday dinners; I was in the kitchen all.day.long!  But, the turkey was delish and no one got food poisoning!  I was so excited that I called my dad and told him I was the best turkey maker ever.  His response: “GREAT!  Now it’s all you for Thanksgiving next year!” 

I would like to show a picture of my beloved turkey but I totally forgot to take some.  I have a before it went in the oven shot but I don’t want to gross you out with a picture of a raw turkey.  But here are some pictures of the radicals’ present they got from their Ama and Papa.

Happy Friday!

jenn

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, friends!  I hope y’all had an awesome holiday with family and friends.  I know I’m late with this post but I brought in the New Year with vomit and diarrhea (sorry for being gross).  My poor family were sick as dogs and I barely got any sleep because I was paranoid that the radicals would choke on their own vomit (sorry again).  Anyway, it’s the weirdest thing because they got better but now it’s back to the same thing.  To the doc we go…

But first I just want to say that 2011 was a great year for my little family and me.  Here’s a little rundown on some of the things that happened:

` I survived 2011 Merrie Monarch week!  Can I get a woo-hoo?!

` Radical #1 turned 3 and radical #2 turned 2 (yikes!)

` The mister and I celebrated 7 years together

` We took our first family trip (even if it was only to kona)

` The doors of communication has been opened (this is huge)

` Radical #1 lost his front tooth

` Radical #1 landed in the ER

` We re-did our kitchen (another huge one)

` We survived financially

` I started a blog

` I did my very first blogger swap

` I went back to school

` I’ve found myself and I’m continuing to grow

` Radical #1 was finally potty-trained

` I made my very first holiday meal/turkey for Christmas

Although no big things happened in 2011 I’m still thankful and blessed that we’ve grown (together and individually) and we’ll continue to grow and make new memories. 

I’m not too big on ‘resolutions’; I think the word is so intimidating.  Instead of ‘resolutions’ I’ll just call them goals.  Some of my goals for 2012…

` Patience.  I seriously need to have more patience.  I bother myself that I get “bent out of shape” over things (small and big).

` Get out there and make some friends.  I have friends.  We just don’t live in the same town.  I’ve lived here for 7 years now and I still haven’t made friends.  Okay wait, I’ve made friends with the mister’s friend’s girlfriends but it’s not like we talk to each other or hang out.  To be honest, I’m a bit intimidated by the people here but this year I’m going to get out of my comfort zone.

` Do more with the radicals.  Get them out, take them on adventures, read more, do more projects and activities.  Right now I do just enough and I feel like a terrible mom but this year that’ll change.

` Time management.  I’m horrible with time management.  Horrible.  It’s like I’m living in a fantasy land that has 48 hour days when in reality it’s only 24.  Yes, I get that.  With being a SAHM, school, and work this goal is a must.  This should have been at the top of the list…

` Let it go!  I’m a control freak and when things don’t go my way or happen the way I planned, I get “bent out of shape”.  I guess this and patience go hand in hand?  I also need to remember that it’s okay to let the laundry and dishes go sometimes.

That’s about it.  Not too big of a list and I think it’s do-able.  I can’t wait to see what 2012 has in store for us!  Wishing everyone a year full of love and happiness!

Peace out!

jenn

The one time where I wanted to kick myself…

…for asking such an asinine question.  It was in fact a foot-in-my-mouth moment but there was no turning back.  And maybe if my body wasn’t so complicated I would have never been in that situation asking such a question.

My body is so not portioned correctly that I have the hardest time finding clothes.  Everything from tops to dresses to pants. And the hardest article of clothing?  Shorts.  I can’t find a decent pair of shorts to save my life.  Well maybe if I looked hard and long enough but I don’t have the patience for that.  Anyway, I’m 4’11.5”.  My thighs are like thunder thighs which I’ll blame on my hula and cheerleading days of the past.  My rear is as big as a….I don’t know what to compare it to but it’s huge.  Then there are my hips that seem to have widened after I had my radicals.

So I come across shorts that fit my hips, rear, and thighs but they are too long.  Like right above my knee too long but not to where I can pull it off to where it’s supposed to look that way.  Then I come across shorts that are a perfect length and they fit my hips but the rear and thigh part is way too tight.  Like if I sit down they will rip too tight (ha-ha!).  Then I come across the ones that fit all around but they are way too short.  Or maybe I feel like they’re too short and doesn’t feel right because my thighs are so darn huge!

Okay, back to my story…the mister decided that it was time for me to give up the 2 pairs of shorts that I’ve had for years and get some new ones.  New ones without holes.  New ones that I could wash and not worry that they’ll fall apart in the wash.  New ones that I could wear in public.  I had to mentally prepare myself before going because I really do hate shopping (gasp!).  Yes, I hate shopping for myself but it could be because I can never find anything. 

I decided to go to Jeans Warehouse (ugh!).  I haven’t been in there since my younger, partying days and I cringed when I walked in.  It’s just that after having 2 kids my body isn’t the same.  I haven’t lost all my baby weight and everything seems so saggy.  And their clothes are just not my style anymore but what the heck, I’m there for shorts.  I go through all the racks of shorts and that’s what they were: short.  I mean rear and va-jayjay hanging out kind of short.  Yikes!  I grab a couple in hopes that it wouldn’t be as short as it looks on the hanger but before trying them on I did the unthinkable.  I asked the sales girl…

“Um excuse me?  Do y’all have shorts that aren’t crotch-eaters?”

I almost died after hearing myself.  Geez Jenn, couldn’t you have asked a more civilized question?  She just looked at me with a baffled look and said “well, we have shorts all along that wall and…” but before she could go on I said “never mind, can I try these on?”

Good Lord I felt like an ass.  But I found two that fit!  They’re shorter than I would prefer but they’re not really “crotch-eaters” and I can live with that. 

3 more days until Christmas!!  I’m still waiting for one more gift to come in.  FedEx came by yesterday and I was jumping for joy thinking it was my package.  But it wasn’t and I wanted to punch him in the face.  Just kidding.  I’d never do that but I was a little sad.  Oh well, maybe today or tomorrow. 

That is all.

Happy Thursday lovelies! 

Rantings and a Recipe

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Rantings…Well maybe it’s just a ranting.

Out of all the parking stalls in the darn parking lot, why do you need mine when there are empty stalls less than 2 feet away?  That, my friends, is what I was yelling venting loudly and hand-signaling to the lady waiting for my stall yesterday.  I just finished loading up one radical and still needed to load the other and on top of that I still had to load up my groceries.  My groceries, which were at the front of the car because there was no way I could get it to the back without hitting the cars next to me.  And since the radicals were already in the car I wasn’t about to leave them there alone to walk all the way around just to get the cart to the back of the car.

Back to the waiting lady…if you’re going to wait for a stall, try doing it in a manner that will let others get by.  Am I right?  Because god knows that I get irate when I’m in the back of a waiting person who is in the middle of the road!  So, I didn’t think much of it and went about my business as quickly as I could.  But let me remind you that I have to walk back and forth to get and load my groceries…so it took longer than normal. 

Anyway, as I glance at the waiting lady I notice that she is blocking traffic from all angles.  {Just a side note: this parking lot is the weirdest parking lot ever.  Once you’re blocked, you’re really blocked in.  You can’t go anywhere until someone MOVES!}  And as soon as I hear blaring horns I start to panic.  I start flying my groceries in not thinking that I may be breaking the eggs or smashing the bread or a jar breaking open and leaking everywhere.  I just wanted to get out of there so the traffic would start moving.  So I finish loading flying my groceries, jump in the car, and move to another stall… that is less than 2 feet away. 

Y’all must think I’m crazy but I felt bad for all the people who were blocked in because of this lady.   Anyway, I park and jump out to fix my groceries while cursing and still doing my crazy hand-signaling.  I must have looked crazy.  As I’m doing that the car that was behind her drives past me and I tell and hand-signal to him “look at all these empty stalls!  Is she serious?” and he just laughs and shakes his head.  Great buddy, I’m glad you can laugh about it now because if I’m not mistaken, you were the one blasting your horn.

Okay, thanks for letting me get that out.  I really was flabbergasted!  I posted about the apple crisp I made for Thanksgiving dinner earlier this week.  Here’s the recipe:

Apple Crisp via The BBM

Topping

2 Cup sifted all-purpose flour

1 Cup Raw rolled oats

2 Cups light-brown sugar, firmly packed

1 cup butter (i used margarine)

Apple Filling

4 Cups cut apples, in 1/2 inch pieces (I used 8 apples)

3/4 Cup granulated sugar

1/4 Cup unsifted all-purpose flour

1/2 Teaspoon cinnamon

Peel and Chip your apples

Pre-Heat Oven to 375 degrees.

Make topping: In large bowl, combine flour, oats, and brown sugar, mixing well.

With a fork, stir in butter to make a crumbly mixture.

Make Apple Filling: In lightly greased pan 7 x 11 inch baking dish, combine apples, granulated sugar, flour, cinnamon, and 1/2 cup water; stir to mix well.

Sprinkle topping evenly over filling;

Bake, uncovered, 35 minutes, or until topping is golden-brown and the apples are tender.

Serve warm, with vanilla ice cream or whip cream if you want!

There you go, easy as pie.  I took a picture with my phone and found a way to get it on my computer but Blogger is giving me an error message (boo!).  You can go make it now and after indulging in a piece or two or maybe the whole pan (haha), you can come back and thank me.  No wait, you can thank Natalie – The Busy Budgeting Mama.  Thanks, Natalie!!  And while you’re there, stay a bit because she has the cutest family, awesome diy posts, more recipes, and much much more.  Go, go now and show some love.  Oh, and she also has an Etsy shop, Pretty Paperie Printables….awesomeness.

Happy Friday, Sweets!

jenn