I met and shook hands with a guy years ago and he told me “wow, your hands are like a guy’s hands…really rough!” I wasn’t sure how to take that so I responded with “yeah, that’s because these are hands of a working woman.” Seriously? Normal people usually say “pleasure to meet you.”
Hi, I’m Jenn and I’m a man-handler. Ha! Ever since I was informed on how rough my hands are, I’ve come to the realization that it's because I am not very lady-like or dainty when I use my hands.
I don’t do manicures; I’ll just mess them up before I even get out the salon door.
I’m paranoid when it comes to handling fragile things like wine glasses. I’ll collect them because they’re pretty but I won’t use them because they’re so fragile. I feel like I’ll crush it for gripping it too hard.
You need me to pick up and move rocks? Plywood? Done.
I remove staples and sticky stuff with my nails.
For goodness sake, I’ll mix wet and dry dog food with my bare hands because I forgot a spoon and I’m too lazy to get one. Why take the extra time to get a spoon when my hands can do it?
I’ll be the one to stick my hand in the nasty toilet to clean it or fish out a toy. Oh but don’t worry, I quickly scrub the crap (ha! No pun intended) out of them when I’m done.
And lotion? Don’t even get me started on lotion. I can’t, for the life of me, have lotion on my hands. The rest of my body I can handle but I’ll be sure to wash my hands after applying it. I always think of the song by Brad Paisley, I’m Still a Guy, when he says “with deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands you can’t grip a tackle box.” True dat! I can’t grip anything with creamy lotiony hands!
The reason why I’m telling you this is because I bought this during Black Friday.
I posted about missing it last year but this year I was on time. Yeah! I didn’t want to tell the Mister I bought it because my reasoning, to him, was ridiculous. I didn’t buy it because of the features. I didn’t buy it because it was a good deal. Okay, so maybe that was one of the reasons but the important reasons were:
1) I can man-handle it because it is big and bulky. I no longer have to worry about breaking the small little one.
2) I can hang it around my neck! And that means I’ll have it with me all the time. I no longer have the excuse of not taking pictures because I’m tired of looking through my bag.
Well, there you have it. Now you know I’m a man-handler.
Excuse me, I’m off to
irritate the neighbor take
the Radicals outside to play. They have
massive amounts of energy to burn off since we’ve been stuck in the house for
days because of the rain.